


here we are again

by vonseal



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Drama, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Post-Break Up, Romance, sanha and rocky arent in it sorry ;A;
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-10-14 12:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17508728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vonseal/pseuds/vonseal
Summary: myungjun still loves dongmin, but he knows once the week is over, they'll be done pretending and he'll be alone once again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first chapter of new 2J, please enjoy! there will be one or two chapter warnings i'll put up, mostly for language, but otherwise the fic is relatively clean.

The television was on when Myungjun arrived home, casting a glow over the otherwise dark living room. Some old sitcom was playing, with clothes that Myungjun loved and Dongmin detested. Myungjun smirked as he deposited his briefcase on a nearby table and tossed his keys in their designated “key bowl.”

He and Dongmin were a couple filled to the brim with differences. Whereas Dongmin liked to write and read, Myungjun focused on his career in interior design. Whereas Dongmin set plans and followed through with them, Myungjun liked spontaneity.

And, whereas Dongmin hated retro clothing, Myungjun adored such a style.

Their differences had been weird at first. Neither one thought the relationship would work out. “We’re _too_ different,” Dongmin had stated, staring mournfully over at Myungjun. “Most couples build a relationship from similarities.”

“We’ll be an odd couple,” Myungjun responded. “We’ll build a relationship out of our differences! Besides, I would hate to date someone exactly like myself - I’d get too frustrated.”

Myungjun had urged and urged and Dongmin relented. Five years later, Myungjun found he was still just as happy as he always had been.

He would get home from work later than usual now. He had taken on the task of helping to design a large apartment complex, and the workload was immense. Sometimes, he would glance up from his computer only to realize he had several missed calls from Dongmin and the time was after midnight.

Tonight had been one of those nights.

Dongmin, it seemed, had waited for him in the living room, in front of the television. He was sleeping now, body sprawled out uncomfortably across the couch, and Myungjun admired him for a few seconds.

Sometimes, he was in awe of Dongmin. The man was perfection. During their college days, Dongmin had been the receiver of many confessions. Girls, especially, adored him. They said his skin was so clear and his eyes were so bright and his smile was so blinding.

Myungjun had been a little shallow at first, too. He had been intrigued by Dongmin’s exceedingly good looks. A man like that _must_ have some sins, Myungjun had explained to his best friend, Jinwoo.

Sure enough, Dongmin had plenty of sins. He had a short temper, he was too much of a perfectionist, and he had an unfortunate lack of humility.

Myungjun liked a man who was imperfect, and so Myungjun soon grew to like Dongmin.

They went on several dates and not one thing _clicked_ for them. Dongmin always enjoyed the opposite of what Myungjun enjoyed. Typically, for a date to become a relationship, Myungjun liked to have compatibility, but with Dongmin, compatibility did not exist. They weren’t right for each other, so everyone claimed.

To that, Myungjun just tried harder.

He was in love with Dongmin. He cared little as to what everyone else said; he knew he and Dongmin could be in love without being compatible. He knew a relationship would work.

Now here they were, both working fantastic jobs and living a fantastic life. They could come home to each other at the end of each day. They could fall asleep in each others’ embrace.

Myungjun smiled as he crept into the living room, moving softly so as to not wake his sleeping boyfriend.

Once he neared the couch, he knelt down and traced over Dongmin’s facial features with his eyes. He was so handsome, as he always had been, and Myungjun wondered, not for the first time, _why me?_

Dongmin had always responded to that with, _because you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in my life_.

It made Myungjun feel special. It made Myungjun feel important. On days when he was certain he was ugly and disgusting, Dongmin made sure to shower him with so many compliments that Myungjun soon could not stop grinning.

Dongmin loved _him_ , and Myungjun knew that would never change.

He gently tapped his boyfriend’s form. “Wake up, sleepy-head,” he murmured. When Dongmin did not move, Myungjun shook him. “Minnie, babe, come on.”

Dongmin groaned and blinked his eyes open. He took a second to focus, but when he caught sight of Myungjun, he smiled. “You’re home.”

“Sorry I’m late,” Myungjun apologized. He pouted, leaning in closer to Dongmin. “I wasn’t keeping watch on the times. Your Junnie is overworking himself.”

“Don’t do that,” Dongmin chastised. He kissed Myungjun’s pout away, and once Myungjun brightened up, he added, “I miss you. We hardly see each other anymore with this workload you have.”

Myungjun sighed. He tugged Dongmin up from the couch so they could retreat to their bedroom together. “I know,” he admitted. “I didn’t expect this client to be so difficult and picky, though. They keep changing their mind without telling me, and I have to scramble to fix things. It sucks. I wish I could be home at my regular time.” He wrapped an arm around Dongmin’s waist as they meandered down the hallway. “Once I’m done with this job, I won’t take on anymore complex buildings. Promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Dongmin murmured. He leaned over to kiss the top of Myungjun’s head. “It’s just so lonely here without you.”

“Poor baby,” Myungjun teased, pinching at Dongmin’s cheek. “You’re all alone here with your writings and thoughts, aren’t you?” When Dongmin nodded, Myungjun asked, “How is your book going? Made any progress on it yet?”

“A lot, actually,” Dongmin replied. He smiled over at Myungjun. “I’ll have to let you read more of it tomorrow, when you get off work. It’s going very well, and I think my editor is pleased with all the work I’ve been putting into it. He keeps praising each chapter! I think I’ll be able to publish it soon.”

Myungjun cheered. “Then it will become a best-seller!” he exclaimed. “And we can move into a house instead of an apartment and we’ll be comfortable for the rest of our lives!”

“Hopefully,” Dongmin said. He giggled and kissed Myungjun again. “For now, though, I’m ready to sleep next to my adorable and talented boyfriend.”

“I’m not nearly as talented as-”

Dongmin shut him up with one last kiss. Myungjun allowed himself to be quieted if only because he liked Dongmin’s kisses and Dongmin’s affection and being told that he _did_ have talent.

He liked Dongmin, and he decided they were a couple fated to be together. He didn’t think he could live apart from Dongmin.

 

****************

 

He saw Jinwoo seated at their usual spot near their favorite food vendor, already nursing a bottle of soju (with plenty more to likely come). Myungjun hurried forward, raising a hand to wave at another patron he recognized, before plopping down in the plastic chair across from Jinwoo.

Jinwoo glanced up at him and smiled. “Good evening, Myungjun.”

“Just pour me a drink,” Myungjun demanded.

“Sure.” Jinwoo poured for Myungjun, but then called out, “Ma’am, can we have two more bottles of soju and some kimchi dumplings?”

A lady nearby confirmed the request, and Jinwoo turned his attention to Myungjun as their food was being prepared. “So, was the date bad?”

Myungjun nodded his head and sighed heavily, his breath releasing in a little cloud. It was chilly outside, and he moved to tug some gloves on his hands. “So we met at this cute noodle shop. It’s a place for couples to go, I’ve heard, so I got us a nice table. He showed up and I guess he’s _sort of_ attractive, but you know I have really high tastes.”

Jinwoo pursed his lips. “I mean, you got _Dongmin_ , so I assume your tastes are really high.”

“Ugh, don’t mention Dongmin’s name right now. Erase him from existence for the moment.”

Jinwoo waved a hand through the air, and when he noticed Myungjun’s confusion, he stated, “I’ve erased him.”

“Oh. Good.” Myungjun fell silent as the food arrived, and he quickly grabbed one of the dumplings to bite into. It was warm and spicy and rich, and he hummed in appreciation before Jinwoo snapped his fingers.

“Focus, Myungjun. Other than this man being ugly, what else was wrong?”

Myungjun rolled his eyes. He had to swallow his food to respond. “He wasn’t _ugly_ . Just not as attractive as I would normally go for. Anyway, he showed up and I guess he was nice enough, but when I told him what I’m doing for my career, he scoffed. He _scoffed_ at me, Jinwoo.”

“So you said.”

“And I asked him what his deal was, and he said that if I had gone into architecture and design in college, I should’ve chosen a job with more money, like engineer or something. He said he hated men who chose the easy path.”

“Ouch.”

“It was humiliating! I told him I enjoyed my job and he said, _I bet the cooks in the back like their job, too, but they get paid next to nothing so is it worth it?_ ” Myungjun huffed and downed his soju quickly. “I was so pissed I told him he should go find himself an engineer, and I stormed off.”

Jinwoo poured him another glass. “Good for you,” he said. “He shouldn’t treat you like that. He should respect your decision to go into interior design. It’s an awesome job, Myungjun, so just ignore jerks who tell you otherwise.”

“I know,” Myungjun murmured. He hesitated before drinking the second glass of soju, then he admitted, “I just feel...mad. And sad. And lonely. And worthless. None of these first dates I’ve gone on have panned out. Some of the guys were too boring or too obnoxious, and this one was just...insulting. Am I destined to be all by myself? Is this my fate?”

Jinwoo watched him for a second or two. “I think you just need to keep looking around for the right guy.”

“It’s such a hassle, though. It’s exhausting.” Myungjun ate his dumpling and then leaned back further in his chair. “I just want the right guy to plop down in front of me.”

Silence fell between the two of them. Jinwoo looked to be contemplating his next move, his next choice of words. “I know you said not to bring up Dongmin,” he mumbled, “but didn’t you and Dongmin have a rough patch before you started dating?”

“I _really_ don’t want to discuss Dongmin. He’s a bastard. He cheated on me and now he’s probably off making millions with his stupid editor. God, I wish I would’ve beaten them both up. I wish I could’ve kicked Dongmin’s ass instead of just…” Myungjun tightened his lips. “I don’t...want to talk about Dongmin.”

“Right.” Jinwoo smiled apologetically and made certain that Myungjun’s soju glass was filled. “His name is erased once more. Let’s forget about him and forget about your date and we’ll just drink into a stupor instead, alright?”

Myungjun very much liked that idea. Alcohol was handy in lightening the mood and forgetting things that were weighing too heavily on his mind. The food was delicious, as well, for such a cold night, and soon enough, Myungjun was laughing and giggling with Jinwoo as if he had naught a care in the world.

Jinwoo drank far less than Myungjun, as per usual, and he was in charge of making sure they both got home safe, as per usual. He walked down the street with his arm wrapped around Myungjun’s waist, keeping a reign on him and ensuring that he didn’t accidentally stumble out into the street.

“I’m happy you’re my friend, Jinwoo!” Myungjun exclaimed, planting a big, wet kiss onto Jinwoo’s cheek. “You’re just the best friend I could ever ask for!”

“That’s good,” Jinwoo replied. He wiped at his cheek in disgust, but Myungjun hardly noticed, far more interested in singing loudly to the stars that hung from the night sky.

As they turned the corner, though, Myungjun’s mood turned sour.

The bookstore Myungjun was so used to seeing had become a source of evil, for they were now promoting Dongmin’s book. It was a bestseller and they wanted people to know, so Dongmin’s face had been plastered on libraries and stores all across the nation. _Meet the young author of_ **_Sorrow!_ ** the sign below Dongmin read. _A fascinating book of love and loss and learning to live with sorrow deep within your heart._

“Jinwoo?” Myungjun whispered, pulling Jinwoo to a stop.

“Hm?”

“That’s... _Dongmin_.”

Jinwoo caught sight of the advertisement as well and he cursed. “Of course they’d put a giant picture of his face up there,” he mumbled. “It’s not as if everywhere else has his face to advertise for the books.”

Myungjun swallowed thickly. He couldn’t believe he was still haunted with images of his ex-boyfriend. He couldn’t believe this was how the universe chose to torture him.

“Let’s go in,” he decided. “They’re still opened.”

“Let’s _not_.” Jinwoo tugged at Myungjun’s arm. “You’re just going to get upset if you go in and look.”

“I _want_ to. Come on.” Myungjun was strong, even more so when he was determined and drunk, and he forced Jinwoo to follow him inside the bookstore, where he made a beeline for the fiction section of the store.

There were many copies of Dongmin’s book. They lined a shelf, awaiting Dongmin’s upcoming meet-and-greet. Myungjun could see a few blank spaces where people likely already bought the book, and he, too, took one down to look at it.

It was pretty, and had Myungjun still been together with Dongmin, he would have boasted about his boyfriend’s talent for the entire world to hear. As it were, his heart felt like it was ripped into pieces being reminded of Dongmin’s betrayal again.

Still, he refused to let it show. Even as his lips quivered and his eyes filled with tears, he whispered, “I’m going to buy it.”

“Why?”

Myungjun had no explanation for his actions. He just felt a need to buy it, to return to the normalcy of his life before. He would’ve bought a hundred copies of Dongmin’s book, and he would’ve kept them within his sight at all times.

Or, he would’ve if he hadn’t found Dongmin laying in bed with his editor.

After paying for the book, Myungjun stumbled outside, Jinwoo close behind him. He felt sick to his stomach. He felt dizzy. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol sloshing around in him or the book he held in his hands that made him feel so sick.

“Why did you buy that, Myungjun?” asked Jinwoo. “You don’t need to look at it. It’s just a reminder of how he treated you.”

Myungjun shrugged his shoulders uselessly. He stared down at the book. It was so pretty and Myungjun abhorred it.

His phone rang, but Myungjun made no move to answer. It was Jinwoo who sighed and dug it out of his pocket.

“I don’t know this number,” Jinwoo said. “Should I answer it?”

“Sure,” Myungjun replied, flipping through the book. He hadn’t read past chapter seven. He didn’t know what the climax turned out to be. He didn’t know how it ended. He wished he knew, and he wished it was awful and terrible. He could leave nasty reviews on websites if it was bad.

Jinwoo, beside him, answered the phone. “Hello?” he greeted.

Then his face turned stark.

“He can’t talk to you right now. How the hell did you get his number anyway? He’s changed it - I don’t care if you need him, he doesn’t need you. Get out of his life.”

The anger in Jinwoo’s tone and the stiff stance he took tipped Myungjun off as to who it might be.

 _Dongmin_.

Dongmin was on the other end, apparently begging to speak to Myungjun. In his drunken state, Myungjun thought of Dongmin apologizing to him, of Dongmin confessing his love again, of Dongmin explaining his horrid actions that one night. Why else would he call so late, anyway?

Why else would he call at all?

Myungjun grabbed the phone. “Give it,” he ordered.

“I know you don’t want to talk to him. I know you’ll regret it-”

“Give _it!_ ” Myungjun snatched his phone out of Jinwoo’s hands and held it up to his ear. “Dongmin?”

Dongmin faltered. “Myungjun. Hi.”

Pleasant. Polite. Professional.

Devoid of love.

Myungjun felt even more sick.

“Look, I know this is weird and we promised not to speak to each other, but I...need some help. Please.”

Dongmin sounded tired. He sounded defeated. Myungjun longed to be with him again. He was fueled by alcohol, and so he nodded his head with enthusiasm. “Sure. Sure. Of course. Sure, Dongmin.”

He thought of Dongmin leaving his stupid editor. He thought of Dongmin hugging him. He thought of going to that Catholic church and making Dongmin confess his sins and swear before God that he would only love Myungjun from that moment forth.

Dongmin just had to ask him to come back, and Myungjun willingly would.

“So, um...apparently, a few things got lost in, um...well, some things were miscommunicated to my family. Or...okay, it _is_ my fault. I never quite got around to telling them that...that you and I had broken up.”

Myungjun looked down at the book. He stared at the title. _Sorrow_ . It was fitting for Myungjun’s emotions. It had been fitting since the moment Myungjun found that shirtless man in his bed, in _his_ spot, with _Dongmin_ beside him.

“Oh,” said Myungjun. He glanced at Jinwoo and mouthed _help me_.

Jinwoo couldn’t seem to decipher Myungjun’s desperate attempts to get off the phone, and Dongmin continued to speak.

“And I’m visiting them next week for Seollal. And...so I might have told them that you could come. In my defense, my grandmother is very old. This is probably her last year. You know that. She _likes_ you, and she wants to see you and I...can you please just come and pretend to date me for the week? After that, I swear I’ll leave you alone forever.”

Myungjun’s hand felt clammy around the phone. He wanted to hang up. He wanted to say no, and to blast Dongmin for even asking. He wanted to fuss and yell and scream at how unfair this request was.

But he held onto that small sliver of drunken hope that perhaps Dongmin still wanted him back, so he said, “Alright.”

“Really?” Dongmin sounded relieved. “Great! I’ll text you all the details and information. Just be packed and ready to go on Monday and I’ll come pick you up. You’re staying with Jinwoo still, right?”

Myungjun bit down on his lip. “Yeah.”

“Okay, I know where that is! Thank you _so_ much, Myungjun, this really does mean a lot to me. My grandmother will be very happy.”

He hung up then. No _goodbye_ , no _sleep well_ , no _I love you, Junnie_.

Pleasant. Polite. Professional.

That’s all their relationship had become.

Myungjun pocketed his phone again and met Jinwoo’s suspicious gaze. “What did he want?” Jinwoo questioned.

Myungjun felt tears spring to his eyes and he held out the book.

“Can we burn this damn thing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please follow me on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/thevonseal) i'll give spoilers and updates and whatnot! i also post my update schedule onto twitter, so if you're curious when this fic will release chapter two, check there!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **chapter warnings** : slight language

“Why the hell would you  _ agree _ to that?” Jinwoo asked, sitting across from Myungjun with his arms crossed. “He asked you to parade around as his fake boyfriend and you  _ agreed _ to it?”

Myungjun allowed Jinwoo to chastise him. He propped his chin up in his hands and kept his eyes averted, not wanting to see Jinwoo’s disappointed gaze. “I...I was really drunk,” he defended himself. “And I wasn’t thinking. I just...I just agreed. It felt right at the time.”

Jinwoo sighed heavily. “Myungjun, he cheated on you. You don’t have to agree to do anything he requests. You can call him up right now and tell him to leave you alone.”

He  _ could _ . In the time that had passed since he had accepted Dongmin’s request, Myungjun had considered calling it off. He didn’t want to torture himself with being around a man he used to love - a man he felt that he  _ still _ loved. 

However, a small part of him was actually a bit excited with the prospect of being with Dongmin, even if their relationship would all be a sham. He wanted to pretend, if only for a few days, that he was Dongmin’s boyfriend and that they were happy and totally in love.

“Look,” he said, sitting up straighter. “His...his grandmother thinks we’re together. I don’t want to ruin things for him by-”

“Why not?” Jinwoo asked. “You caught him in bed with his  _ editor _ . You caught them in  _ your _ bed.”

“I don’t want to be reminded.”

“But by staying with Dongmin and acting like a couple, you  _ will _ be reminded, regardless of what you do to try and stop it. I just…” Jinwoo shook his head and leaned back in his chair. “I know you still have feelings for him. I know you always  _ will _ have feelings for him. But don’t you think you’re better off  _ not _ acting all lovey-dovey with him? Don’t you think things might go better if you two just...never see each other again?”

It would be a better life without Dongmin around—Jinwoo was correct. Even so, Myungjun hesitated to be the one to completely end whatever relationship they had left. He was still so caught up in the love that Dongmin once showered him with, and he refused to let it go.

“It’s once more,” Myungjun assured his best friend, who looked quite exasperated. “One more time with Dongmin, only to please his grandma. It’s likely her last holiday with the rest of the family. She always liked me, Dongmin said, and since he forgot to tell her that we broke up, she still thinks we’re together.”

“He didn’t forget to tell his family,” Jinwoo grumbled. “He didn’t want to tell them that he’s a cheating scumbag.”

“Regardless, I don’t want to strain family relations,” Myungjun responded. “If he tells them what happened, then his grandmother will die with these unpleasant thoughts in her mind. Wouldn’t it be better to prevent that?”

“He could have told them some sort of lie, like you went to visit your own family-”

“They know I don’t have a good relationship with my parents.”

“-or that you went to visit  _ my _ family.”

Myungjun snorted. “Yeah, right. Like they’d believe that I’m spending an important holiday with my roommate’s parents.” He stood from his spot at his table and grabbed the empty carton of Chinese takeout he had situated in front of him. “I’m going, Jinwoo. I know it’s stupid, but I feel like I need to go. I feel like things will be finalized if I go.”

His friend didn’t look convinced but nodded his head regardless. “You’re an adult, I guess. You can make your own decisions. Even if I think those decisions are stupid.”

Myungjun didn’t need Jinwoo’s blessings for the trip. He knew he wouldn’t get them, anyway. He  _ was _ an idiot, but his heart yearned to spend at least one more week with Dongmin. He could already imagine Dongmin wrapping an arm around his waist to draw him closer, or brushing his bangs aside to ensure his hair looked nice, or—

“It’s all fake,” Myungjun reminded himself once he was back in his bedroom. He slapped his cheeks once and then murmured again, “It’s all fake. You are not with Dongmin—it’s all for show.”

Though he and Dongmin had been apart for nearly a year, he still couldn’t help the longing in his chest. It threatened to overwhelm him, overtake him, and he stared at his empty suitcase in desperation.

He’d pack in the morning. He just wanted to lay down and cry for a bit.

 

****************

 

“Are you sure they’ll like me?” Myungjun had asked, straightening out his jacket and staring at himself in the mirror. “Am I dressed well enough for them? Do you think I’m charming? Should I go over my greetings again?”

“Yes, yes, yes, and no,” responded Dongmin, who was still putting on his own outfit. “Relax, Junnie. Be yourself! They’ll like you because  _ I _ like you. That’s all that matters, you know.”

Myungjun combed his hair back. A single strand tried to defy gravity, and Myungjun couldn’t wrestle it down. “You know that isn’t true. If I was someone super evil, that would be important, regardless of how much you loved me.”

“Good thing you aren’t super evil, then.” Dongmin poked his head out from their closet and sighed. “Junnie, what did you do to your hair?”

Pouring more hair cream into his hand, Myungjun replied, “I’m fixing it. It looked a little scraggly, don’t you think?”

“No. I thought it was cute.” Dongmin sighed and pulled a shirt on over his head. “You looked perfectly fine, and now you look like you’re about to go to a black-tie event.”

“The sushi place you chose is  _ really _ nice. I looked online. I read the reviews and saw the pictures. Truth be told, I don’t think I look fancy enough.” Myungjun looked at Dongmin’s reflection in the mirror, then clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Look at you, babe. You’re a mess.”

Dongmin glanced down at his outfit. “Am I? I thought I looked fine.”

“You’ve buttoned your shirt all wrong. Here.” Myungjun moved away from the dresser and began fixing Dongmin’s shirt. “I’m glad I had the foresight to get this shirt dry-cleaned last week. You have a really smart boyfriend, Minnie, did you know that?”

Dongmin smiled at him. “Of course I knew that. I’ve always known it.” 

He waited until Myungjun finished his task then planted a kiss onto his forehead. “I have a super smart, super handsome boyfriend. I’ve truly lucked out in this world.”

“Am I handsome enough to meet your parents?”

“You are. Though, you look a little silly with this stray piece of hair. Can I help?”

“Do your worst.”

Myungjun stood still as Dongmin took the opportunity to comb through his hair. He tried out a few different styles until he was finally able to hide any flyaway strands. Myungjun, glancing over at himself in the mirror again, had to admit that he looked rather attractive. 

“Aren’t we a sight to behold,” he stated. “You, with your ethereal beauty, and me, who can look just as good with some touch-ups.”

“I think you look better, with or without the touch-ups.” Dongmin wrapped his arms around Myungjun and planted a kiss onto his cheek. Myungjun, still staring at their reflections in the mirror, grinned widely. 

Somehow, the kiss completed it all.

Somehow, Dongmin by his side completed his life.

“Don’t get all mushy and gushy,” he fussed, though he knew his words were directed more towards himself. Dongmin seemed to know this, as well, and simply smirked as he pulled himself away from Myungjun’s side.

“I can’t help it. When my boyfriend is  _ this _ wonderful, it’s really hard to stay away from all the mushy and gushy nonsense.”

“Try harder,” Myungjun ordered. He looked himself up and down. His clothing choice was fancy and nice, his hair was slicked back, and his shoes were shiny and polished. He was the epitome of classy, and he could only hope that Dongmin’s parents were interested in their son dating a  _ classy _ man. “Okay, so you’re  _ sure _ they’ll like me?”

Dongmin snorted. “They’ll love you.”

“It won’t be the disaster that meeting my parents was, will it?”

His words made Dongmin look upon him in concern. “Are you still worried my family will be like that, too?”

“I...I don’t know.” Myungjun swallowed thickly. He shrugged his shoulders and then moved to sit on the bed. “If my own family can toss out their only son, then maybe your family won’t hesitate to toss out some guy they’ve never met before.”

Dongmin hesitated for a second, then sat beside Myungjun. He rubbed a hand up and down Myungjun’s back. “They already know I’m gay,” he pointed out. “And I’ve already told them about you. I’ve told them  _ so much _ about you, and they’re so excited to finally get the chance to meet you. Dad wants to talk to you all about trot songs you might like. Mom’s happy I found someone who likes housework, because you know I’m useless at it. And my grandma is happy you respect me and you love me. She says all she wants is for me to live a good life.”

Myungjun leaned his head onto Dongmin’s shoulder and sighed deeply. “Sounds wonderful,” he murmured. “What other good things do they say about me?”

“You little sneak,” Dongmin fussed, pinching Myungjun’s side. Myungjun jumped to get away from Dongmin’s fingers but ended up falling back onto the bed. Dongmin climbed on him, poking and prodding and tickling at any part he could reach, and by the end of their short battle, Myungjun’s face was red and his hair was a mess.

“You look ridiculous,” Dongmin teased. He bent over to kiss Myungjun’s lips.

“Jokes on you,” Myungjun whispered, wrapping his arms around Dongmin’s neck. “You’re the one that gets to fix my hair back the way it was again.”

“Junnie, you look better with your hair all scraggly-”

“Fix it, or I won’t do housework for a week. I’ll just watch you slowly die in your own filth.”

The threat was something that Myungjun  _ would _ do, and Dongmin seemed to know it. He pouted for a second, sticking his lips out like a little child, but finally stood from the bed and pulled Myungjun up with him.

“Alright,” he mumbled. “Let’s get to it.”

 

****************

 

Jinwoo stood in the living room, his arms crossed in front of him and his glare absolutely striking. Myungjun wondered if he had spent time practicing for this moment. Myungjun wondered if he had stood in front of the mirror and tried his best to perfect his glare.

It worked, whatever he did, and Myungjun watched as Dongmin faltered under such an intense stare.

“Nice to, um, see you again, Jinwoo.”

“Cut the crap,” Jinwoo barked out. “You’re a filthy cheater and I wish I could punch you in the nose right now. As it is, Myungjun warned me not to touch you, and I guess he’s right - I don’t like touching filth.”

Myungjun sighed. He held his suitcase in his hand and was growing tired of standing around and waiting for Jinwoo’s approval. “Cool it, Jinwoo.”

“I’m not asking to get back together with Myungjun,” Dongmin said, casting only a quick glance over at his ex-boyfriend before focusing his attention back onto Jinwoo. “I understand that we need to have nothing to do with each other. I was willing to respect the distance, too, and never contact him. It was a dire situation. I couldn’t tell my grandma we’ve broken up. She’d be upset.”

“She’d be more upset that you were sleeping with someone else while you were still with Myungjun, wouldn’t she?” Jinwoo asked. “And  _ that’s _ the reason you won’t tell.”

Dongmin said nothing to refute Jinwoo’s statement. He took the criticism, as he always had since Myungjun caught him in his adultery, and bowed his head as if reflecting on what he had done. It had always rubbed Myungjun the wrong way; somehow, he’d much rather Dongmin fight back against the accusations. Instead, he was compliant and silent and Myungjun hated it. 

“Let’s go,” he blurted out, the first words he had said to Dongmin since his arrival. “Traffic always gets bad for Seollal, and if we leave right now, we might be able to beat it, since it’s still early enough in the day.”

“Call me every night, Myungjun,” Jinwoo said, rushing over to his friend. “And don’t hesitate to ask me to pick you up—I really won’t mind. Don’t be alone with Dongmin more than you can help it. Don’t kiss him or hug him or anything, even if he asks you to, because intimacy between couples is private, anyway, and so he shouldn’t-”

“I’ll be alright,” Myungjun assured Jinwoo. “I’ll call you if I need anything. Promise.”

Jinwoo looked serious; Myungjun  _ was _ serious. He didn’t know how long he would be able to handle being in such close proximity for Dongmin, especially since they were using the guise of a dating couple.

Jinwoo finally allowed him to leave after he promised three more times that he truly  _ would  _ call should any issues arise. 

Then he was alone with Dongmin.

“Jinwoo’s...nice,” Dongmin commented, breaking the silence that had befallen the two as they walked to Dongmin’s car.

Myungjun sighed.

“No, I mean it.” Dongmin continued as if Myungjun had been trying to put up a fight. “He clearly cares for you. It’s nice to have a friend like that. I mean, I’m happy you have Jinwoo.”

Myungjun tried his best to hold his tongue, even as he climbed in Dongmin’s car, and even as Dongmin said, “He’s very protective.” He didn’t want to talk to Dongmin. He didn’t want to fight or to reconcile. He wanted things neutral. 

Or so he told himself. His heart just yearned for a connection.

“He’s protective because he doesn’t want someone to break my heart. Again.”

His words came out before he could stop them, and once they were in the air, he didn’t want to take them back. The only time he had truly chastised Dongmin for his actions was on the night of Dongmin’s betrayal. Since then, he had kept his distance and kept his mouth shut.

Now, though, they were on a drive that would take a couple of hours, and Myungjun needed to say his peace before he was forced to sit through such an uncomfortable ride.

Dongmin simply sighed as he started the car. “Yeah, I know.”

Again, Dongmin didn’t even try to refute the accusation. He accepted it and moved on as if things would just blow over.

“I don’t know if you truly  _ do _ know,” Myungjun said, refusing to let Dongmin off the hook. “You’ve never come home late, tired from a long day at work, ready to see your boyfriend, only to find him in bed with his drunk editor. You wouldn’t even  _ know _ how that feels. You couldn’t even begin to guess how it feels.”

Dongmin said nothing. He kept his eyes on the road, his hands on the steering wheel, and said absolutely nothing.

Myungjun stared at him, glowering, and asked, “Does Bin live with you now? Does he get to sleep on my side of the bed? I wonder, did he eat all the snacks I had stored away? I moved out too fast to take those - did you play footsie with him under the table, like you used to do to me? Did he watch all those shows I had recorded?”

“Myungjun,” Dongmin said, breaking his silence, “I’ll answer your questions. I will. But...I think it was for the best we broke up, anyway, and I don’t think we need to analyze our relationship. Right now, we’re a fake couple. Let’s push the past behind us and just...pretend we like each other, okay? Pretend, Myungjun, that you like me.”

“It will be difficult.”

“Try.”

It wouldn’t be difficult, though. Myungjun  _ did _ still like Dongmin, as stupid as he knew it was. Dongmin cheated on him and, by all accounts, should be forgotten quickly, sooner rather than later, and yet Myungjun still allowed his feelings to linger on Dongmin. His heart raced with excitement at the thought of holding hands and being close and flirting and just being around each other. Even while he told himself it was such a horrible idea and a rotten plan, his heart couldn’t stop singing Dongmin’s praises.

_ He cheated, _ he reminded his stupid heart, turning his gaze to the world outside the car windows.  _ He doesn’t deserve you. You deserve better than him _ .

But was there anyone better than Dongmin? Myungjun hadn’t thought so, even before they started to date, and he wasn’t finding anyone better now that they were apart.

“I’ll try,” he mumbled, his cheeks squished against the window of Dongmin’s car. “But only this once. After this, promise me that we’ll never see each other again?”

Dongmin glanced over at him; Myungjun could see his reflection in the car window. He could just barely detect the conflict brewing in Dongmin’s eyes. For a second, Myungjun thought that perhaps Dongmin would fight for their relationship, something he never once did.

Then the conflict dimmed and Dongmin turned back to the road. 

“Promise.”

The hope in Myungjun’s chest deflated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please follow me on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/thevonseal) i'll give spoilers and updates and whatnot! i also post my update schedule onto twitter, so if you're curious when this fic will release chapter three, check there!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **chapter warnings** : slight language

The house they sat in front of was small and cute. It was a picturesque home, a place that exuded warmth and joy. Myungjun had been there many times before and had always felt happy.

Now, however, he did not wish to step anywhere close to this house than necessary. He was tense in his seat, staring out through the windshield at the cute home. It was daunting. It was terrifying. It was awful.

Dongmin, sitting beside him, glanced over. “Myungjun—”

“Give me a few extra minutes,” Myungjun snapped. He had yet to take off his seatbelt—somehow, that would seem final, as if he  _ must _ enter the house once he was freed from the bondage that kept him plastered to his seat. 

Dongmin only gave him a few extra seconds. “We should be going inside. We’re already late enough as is.”

Myungjun took a deep breath. He tapped his fingers against the door and then shook his head. “No. Not ready.”

“Are you serious?”

“ _ Yes _ , I’m serious!” Myungjun glared at his ex-boyfriend. “You’re the one that begged me to come, and I’ll be damned if I’ll allow myself to follow your orders any longer. This is uncomfortable, Dongmin. You cheated on me, and now I have to go in there to such wonderful people and pretend that you and I are fine. I have to pretend that you  _ didn’t _ break my heart and ruin my life because you’re a bastard. Do you know how hard this is on me? Do you know how much I hate this?”

Dongmin was quiet. As per usual, he accepted all of Myungjun’s criticisms. He never once tried to defend himself—he hadn’t the night Myungjun caught him in bed with Bin, and he still bowed his head and allowed Myungjun to spit out mean words.

It made Myungjun’s blood boil.

He didn’t think Dongmin had even the right to stay silent. He wanted Dongmin to fight back because then it would make Myungjun feel less guilty about fussing at him and insulting him. He also wanted Dongmin to cling to their relationship, to try and fix things.

He wanted Dongmin to cry over the loss they both suffered.

Yet Dongmin had not seemed bothered at all by the breakup. He had acted as if there was no other choice, and he had allowed Myungjun to move out without a single word spoken between them. He was complacent and weak and Myungjun wished he could hate Dongmin.

Love, though, was too strong in his heart. Even looking over at Dongmin made his heart beat faster and his hands grow sweaty. He wanted to be with Dongmin so bad. He wanted to have misunderstood the cheating, to have seen things wrong, to have imagined it all, but Dongmin had not once tried to refute Myungjun’s accusations.

He had cheated. He had wanted the relationship to end. Myungjun was the only one who had loved him at all, it seemed.

Myungjun huffed and threw his head back in the seat. “This is pathetic,” he mumbled. “I should have never agreed to come.”

Still, Dongmin remained silent.

“I was drunk, you know,” Myungjun spat out. “You got me when I was weak and miserable and wasted. You should have recognized that, too. You never should have forced me to agree to this.”

“I didn’t  _ force _ you,” was what Dongmin mumbled.

Finally, a fight. Finally, something to yell at. Myungjun took the opportunity and smacked his hand into the car door. “You  _ did! _ ” he exclaimed. “You  _ know _ how I am when I’m drunk! And you know how my voice gets all slurred and I’m quiet and submissive, and so you should’ve known I was drunk from that, and yet you pressured me into this!”

“I just asked if you would—”

“No, you  _ pressured _ me!” Myungjun bellowed. Realizing he was being a bit too loud, he took a deep breath and turned away from Dongmin. “You’re a jerk.”

Dongmin was quiet. Dongmin accepted the hate, and Myungjun felt like punching through all of Dongmin’s stupid car windows. He felt like yelling and screaming nonsense into the sky. He hated this, hated everything he was going through, and he exclaimed, “You’re a coward, you know that? You’re nothing but a stupid, weak, pathetic—”

There was knocking at Dongmin’s window. Myungjun jumped and glanced over, recognizing Dongmin’s younger brother standing on Dongmin’s side of the car, looking quite confused.

Dongmin rolled down the window in accordance with his brother’s hand motions. “Hey, Donghwi.”

“Hi.” Donghwi glanced past Dongmin, over at Myungjun, and cautiously waved a hand. “Are you two alright?”

“Yes.” Dongmin nodded his head. Pleasant. Polite. Professional. Myungjun fought the urge to actually punch the car. “Why do you ask?”

Donghwi blinked and cleared his throat. “I heard...yelling. And Myungjun doesn’t  _ look _ happy.”

Things were too awkward. Myungjun wasn’t sure what he ought to say or even  _ do _ , and so he unbuckled his seat belt and gave a small, nervous chuckle. “Had, um, an argument,” he lied. “I said we should have brought some wine, but Dongmin said you guys didn’t need it.”

He was quick-thinking, at least. Even Dongmin looked more relieved with that explanation, and he nodded his head. “I mean, Mom and Dad don’t drink much, anyway, so there’s not really a point in buying some wine for them, is there?”

“I guess not. Weird thing to yell about, though,” Donghwi stated, but he at least seemed to accept it all. He stepped back, allowing Dongmin to get out of the car, and finally, he smiled. “It’s nice to see both of you again! It’s been, what, almost a year?” He whistled. “Where has the time gone?  But you haven’t invited me to your place, Dongmin. You used to  _ always _ invite me, for every stupid holiday.”

Dongmin hid a grimace, but Myungjun could see his expression well enough. Clearly, he was uncomfortable. “Myungjun and I have both been working rather hard recently. Especially with my book being published, it’s just been a little crazy. We’ve hardly had any visitors. Right, Junnie?”

The familiar nickname made Myungjun freeze. He had exited the car, but his hand remained on the door instead of closing it.

_ Junnie _ .

Dongmin used to call him that all the time. Myungjun had adored it. It was cute and silly and displayed their love and affection for each other. He hadn’t heard it since their breakup, though, and it brought pangs to his heart as he remembered that they would never be so close ever again.

“Junnie? Are you alright?” 

Dongmin’s voice was bright and concerned and Myungjun wondered when he had become such an amazing actor. He had always been bad with lying, but here he was, pretending he still  _ cared _ . There was the possibility, of course, that Dongmin had always been an amazing actor. After all, if he had managed to hide his feelings for Bin, then he must not be as bad of a liar as Myungjun suspected.

Myungjun’s fingers fumbled with the door for a few seconds before he was finally able to slam it shut. He straightened and cleared his throat. 

“Fine,” he mumbled. “It has been crazy, so, um, no visitors.”

Donghwi was suspicious. Myungjun could tell from the way his eyes narrowed slightly and his lips pursed outward.

“Donghwi, can you give us a few seconds?” Dongmin requested, patting his brother’s shoulder. “I think Myungjun’s still sore with me over the wine thing, and I want to clear it all up before we go inside to see Mom and Dad.”

Fortunately, even if Donghwi seemed to suspect something wasn’t right, he at least knew when people needed time to themselves. He nodded his head and said, “See you inside, then!” before racing up the staircase to the small house.

Dongmin waited until Donghwi shut the front door and they were completely alone to face Myungjun. “You’ve got to pull it together,” he whispered. “I know this is difficult, but you  _ promised _ you would act like my boyfriend—just for my family, just for this week, okay? It’s only a couple of days, and then I promise I will never, ever,  _ ever _ speak to you again. Alright?”

Myungjun felt like puking all over Dongmin’s stupid, shiny shoes. That would get Dongmin off his back. Maybe he could claim to be sick, too, and go back home and never deal with Dongmin. 

“Take down all your stupid posters in that bookshop near Jinwoo’s house,” he blurted out.

Dongmin cocked his head. “What?”

It was a stupid thing to ask, but Myungjun couldn’t back down now. The words had already left his mouth; he might as well follow through. “I said to take down those stupid posters of your stupid face. They’re hanging up  _ everywhere _ . You know which shop I’m talking about, too, because you have a signing there. Tell them that you will not do the signing unless they agree to never,  _ ever _ show off your dumb face again.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“No, I’m serious.” Myungjun crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Dongmin. “Or else I won’t pretend that we’re still together.”

“We never made any deals like this! You promised—”

“ _ You’re _ the only one who gets anything out of this, and that isn’t fair!” Myungjun exclaimed. “I don’t want to see you after this, so take down those posters.”

It seemed Dongmin wanted to yell. It sure looked that way. His mouth was in a straight line, lips tight together, and his hands curled into fists by his side. “Do you understand what you’re asking of me?” he whispered. “That’s promotional material for my book. More people will buy my book if I advertise. You’re asking too much.”

“Take it or leave it, Dongmin,” Myungjun said, refusing to back down. “If you don’t want me to tell your entire family how I found you and that disgusting editor of yours in bed together, then you’d best tell the shop to take down all of your stupid promotional material.”

Silence fell between them. Dongmin was contemplating his next course of action. He seemed conflicted, and Myungjun awaited his response.

It came rather shortly. Dongmin nodded his head sharply, agreeing to Myungjun’s demands.

_ Score _ , Myungjun thought, and he latched himself onto Dongmin’s arm and hummed. “Alright,  _ Minnie _ , let’s get this over with before I puke on your shoes.”

Dongmin seemed to wince. Myungjun felt pride in his heart realizing he had finally gotten to Dongmin.

_ Stupid, stupid, stupid Dongmin _ .

They entered the house and Myungjun couldn’t help but hold his breath as Dongmin’s mother greeted them. Myungjun hadn’t seen her in nearly a year. She looked the same as ever, though, tall and elegant, despite wearing jeans and a t-shirt. She hugged Dongmin first, kissing his cheek as she said, “It’s so good to see you, darling!”

Then she turned her attention onto Myungjun, who wanted to shy away from such affection. He had to force himself to accept it, however, and so he hugged back with a smile on his face. “Myungjun!” she exclaimed. “I haven’t spoken to you since last year! How have you been?”

“I’ve been alright,” he assured her, lying through his teeth. “Just a bit busy. I’ve been getting home very late for a long time.”

Beside him, Dongmin was tense. He glanced away from the scene, eyes betraying something that Myungjun couldn’t quite put his hands on, but then his expression brightened again when he saw his father. “Dad! How have you been?”

Dongmin’s father was a bit shorter than his mother, but still just as classy and handsome. He grinned and got his own hug from Dongmin; though, to Myungjun, he offered his hand for a handshake. Myungjun appreciated that much better than a hug. 

“I’ve been well. We’ve  _ all _ been well. And ever since your grandmother moved in with us, it’s been a lot more lively, that’s for sure.”

Dongmin’s grandmother was a wonderful person. Myungjun felt upset as he turned to look at her, knowing this was the last time he would get to be around her, knowing this was the last time he would ever act again as Dongmin’s boyfriend. She sat in her chair, too old to stand for them, but she smiled widely, regardless, and demanded hugs from the both of them.

Her gnarled, old hands patted at Myungjun’s cheek and she asked, “Are you making sure Dongmin behaves?”

Myungjun nodded his head. His heart ached even more now that he stood here surrounded by the entire family. “I am,” he promised. “Dongmin is...he’s behaving.”

Except when he slept with his editor in Myungjun’s own bed. It was such an awful thought, and he had to struggle to keep his composure, to not blurt it out to the rest of the family.

He needed to calm down. He needed to take deep breaths.

He was finally able to do so when he was led into the guest room he would be sharing with Dongmin. Once his bags were deposited on the floor, he flopped over onto the bed and gave a loud sigh.

Dongmin closed the door behind them hurriedly, as if anticipating Myungjun’s small breakdown.

“Can we cut our trip short?” Myungjun asked. “Please?”

“No.” Dongmin’s response was instant; clearly, he had expected Myungjun’s request. “You know we have to stay here for the entire time. If we leave early, my parents might be suspicious—Donghwi is  _ already _ really suspicious because you couldn’t keep it together in the car.”

“I couldn’t keep it together because  _ you _ are an awful person!” Myungjun hissed. He sat up from his bed and glared over at Dongmin, who was still by the door. “You cheated on me and now you’ve forced me into this.”

Dongmin sighed. “I didn’t force you. We apparently have a deal now, so we both get something out of it.”

“I should have made you tell the truth to your family at the end of our stay. That would be an  _ equal _ deal for the both of us.”

This time, Dongmin said nothing. He crossed his arms over his chest and continued to stare until Myungjun could no longer take it. 

“Why  _ can’t _ we leave early? We can make up a lie. Just tell them I have a lot of work to do. I mean, it’s not  _ technically _ wrong, since I have a big project I’m working on—”

“Another big project?” Dongmin interrupted him, raising his eyebrows. “Wow. You really just can’t keep yourself away from your job, can you?”

“I like my job,” Myungjun defended. “My job doesn’t cheat on me.”

“Clearly you love your job more than you love  _ anything _ .” 

Myungjun didn’t understand why Dongmin was suddenly the one who was angry. He had been in the wrong the entire time; he had no right to peg any of his wrongdoings onto Myungjun. It wasn’t fair, not when he was the one who single-handedly had ruined their relationship. 

Before Myungjun could say anything to defend himself, though, Dongmin added, “We’re not leaving early. We’ve already made the deal, Myungjun. Let’s just try our best to pretend we’re still together, and then, I swear, everything will be back to normal.”

Myungjun hated that plan. His  _ normal _ had been dates with Dongmin, late nights spent at home together, bad movies and silly text messages and shared kisses before bed.  _ Abnormal _ had become wallowing away at his new place with Jinwoo and always wondering why Dongmin had decided to dump him in such an awful way.

However, he wasn’t in a position to argue. He  _ had _ agreed, and he really did want these last few days to  _ pretend _ .

It was just a lot more difficult to pretend than he thought it would be.

“Fine,” he huffed anyway. He glanced around him at the room. He and Dongmin had spent nights together in here on other family trips. He had always found it cozy and quaint. Now, though, it was too small, suffocating, and he asked, “Do we really have to sleep in this bed together, though?”

“There’s nowhere on the floor to sleep,” Dongmin pointed out as he worked on unpacking his bag. “Besides, if anyone in my family decides to pop in here for questions during the night or in the morning, we need to look the part.”

“You’d better not grope me,” Myungjun warned. “Or spoon me. Or cuddle with me. Or touch me  _ at all _ during the night. I’ll kick you in the nuts if you do.”

“Duly noted,” Dongmin responded, sounding not at all as choked up as Myungun would have preferred for him to be. “Are you going to unpack your bag?”

“Of course I am. Don’t touch it.” Myungjun slid down to the floor and began opening up his suitcase. He noticed Dongmin glance over and he snapped, “What?”

“Nothing. Just…” Dongmin pointed over at the first thing he spotted, laying on top of Myungjun’s clothing: his contact case. “You’re using the Ironman case. I like that one. I’ve always thought it was really cute.”

Myungjun wasn’t sure how to respond to that comment. He shrugged his shoulders.

“Do you...do you still have the others?” Dongmin asked.

“Yeah.”

“All of them?”

Myungjun knew what he was trying to get at. Dongmin wanted to know if he still had the cute duck contact case, the one Dongmin bought for him at the start of their relationship. It had been Myungjun’s favorite. He treasured it and loved it. That one had been the case he took with him everywhere.

Upon their breakup, however, it sat in a box of other things Dongmin had gifted him that Myungjun refused to throw out. He couldn’t bear to part with those trinkets and gifts, even if their relationship was over and through.

Despite it all, he still loved Dongmin, and he hated himself for that.

“Yes,” he mumbled.

Dongmin was bad at hiding a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please follow me on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/thevonseal) i'll give spoilers and updates and whatnot! i also post my update schedule onto twitter, so if you're curious when this fic will release chapter four, check there!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **chapter warnings** : pain?

Myungjun had promised Dongmin that he would stop working so late. After he spent a few nights asleep at his desk due to his intense workload, Dongmin had finally contacted him.

“I miss you,” Dongmin had said, unsure and nervous. “I know you’re busy, but when this project is over, can you promise me that you’ll start coming home earlier? It’s...it’s hard to sleep without you beside me in bed.”

Guilt had become Myungjun’s new companion from then on. Even when he left in the morning, at his regular time, with Dongmin kissing him goodbye, he still felt his stomach churn. “I will be a bit late,” he had confessed to Dongmin on his third day of Being a Good Boyfriend. 

Dongmin frowned. “You said you wouldn’t.”

“It’s a rush job,” he murmured, averting his gaze so he wouldn’t see the disappointment written on Dongmin’s face. “They passed it onto me because it’s something more complex, and they know I can do complex-”

“You said you would stop accepting the complex ones.”

“Minnie, it’s my  _ job _ .” Myungjun sighed and reached out to grab Dongmin’s hand. “I told you I’d be working a lot. I like work. You know I do. And if I can do good in enough buildings, they might promote me! Once I’m promoted, we can move closer to your parents, if you’d like—”

“Are you going to be sleeping there again?” Dongmin asked, bitterness seeping into his tone. When Myungjun didn’t answer him instantly, he tugged his hand away, breaking their contact. “Fine. Have a good day.”

He held none of the warmth he normally did. He was polite, but nothing more. Myungjun felt like the guilt would tear through him. He wished he could forget all about work to focus more on his relationship.

Yet, Dongmin would wait for him. Once this building was designed, he could take a break. He’d get tickets and maybe he and Dongmin could go abroad. It would be a nice surprise, right around their anniversary, and Myungjun comforted himself knowing that all his work and time spent away from home would be worthwhile.

Of course, once he arrived to work, his heart longed to return to Dongmin.

_ You idiot! _ it seemed to harp at him,  _ if you like this job so much just stay in this position. Isn’t Dongmin more important than a stupid promotion? Isn’t his happiness worth more to you than anything else? _

His heart was right, as much as Myungjun tried to shut it up. He worked hard through the day, only stopping to scarf down the meal Dongmin had made for him. There was a note in his lunchbox, a silly thing left by Dongmin. It had a horrendous drawing of sushi pieces fighting each other with chopsticks, and off to the side was an  _ I love you Junnie! Fighting! _

Myungjun smiled, despite all the guilt he felt. He stuck the note inside his desk drawer, where it joined many others of the same sort. They acted as encouragement to Myungjun when the days got rough or when he found himself missing Dongmin so dreadfully. Usually, they could easily do the trick, but today, his smile fell again after a few seconds. Today, all he could think about was Dongmin coming home to an empty house— _ again _ —and eating a meal by himself— _ again— _ and going to sleep on a large, empty bed— _ again _ . 

Myungjun stared at his computer, at all the graphics and lines and colors, and he sighed heavily.

He needed to focus on work. This building would benefit many people, and once it was designed,  _ then _ he could relax at home with his boyfriend.

Afternoon came and went. Beyond the large windows of the office, the sun began to set. Myungjun’s team hardly took notice, but Myungjun kept glancing outside to the world beyond the office walls. Out there, people were getting home from work. They would kiss their significant other, hug their children, and settle down for dinner. Maybe they would all do something fun together as a family. Perhaps they would be playing games or watching television or just talking and catching up.

Dongmin, though, wouldn’t experience any of that tonight.

“Myungjun.” 

His co-worker, Eunji, was snapping to get his attention. Myungjun hurriedly glanced at her with a, “Huh?”

“Can you come and check out my design for the elevator? I want to make sure it’s going to fit with whatever you have.”

He couldn’t allow himself to keep thinking about Dongmin. His mind wandered when Dongmin was involved, and he wouldn’t get his work done.

“Yeah,” he agreed, standing from his seat and stretching. “I’m coming.”

They worked for hours more. The moon was high in the sky and the traffic outside was slowing down as the night dragged on and on. His co-workers started to yawn, and Myungjun felt exhausted himself. 

One laid her head down on her desk. She closed her eyes and didn’t move. Another was already unrolling a sleeping bag out from under his desk. Eunji still worked.

Myungjun hated this. Dongmin was at home, all by himself, upset and disappointed and bitter. That wasn’t any way to treat his boyfriend. Dongmin deserved so much better than that.

“Hey,” Myungjun said, standing up and grabbing his coat. Eunji looked at him in curiosity. “I’m, um, I’m...headed home. I forgot I have...I have some stuff to do there.”

“Like what?”

He could understand her inquiries. He was normally the first to agree for an all-nighter at the office. He was normally the last to leave. He thought of how many times Dongmin had to deal with that, with his nonchalant attitude to just staying behind at work for hours and hours and hours.

Poor Dongmin,

“Laundry,” was Myungjun’s only comment before he rushed out of the office.

He had to hail a taxi—the buses weren’t running this late at night. Taxis were expensive, but Myungjun decided he didn’t mind. Not this time. Not for Dongmin. Dongmin deserved this and so much more.

When he did arrive to their apartment, all of the lights were off. It took a bit of stumbling around for Myungjun to rest his shoes at the door and to slip on his house slippers. He placed his wallet and keys on the table and then shuffled into their bedroom.

Dongmin was fast asleep. The only light came from street lamps outside, casting an eerie glow over the large and mostly empty bed. Myungjun’s heart ached and guilt reared its ugly head once more.

Poor Dongmin.

He was quick in taking off his clothes, stripping to his underwear. Not minding to put on pajamas yet, he simply crawled into bed, under the covers, and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, holding him close.

Dongmin moaned, then whispered, “Ju-Junnie?”

“Shh. I didn’t mean to wake you, babe.”

“I thought...what about work?” Dongmin blinked bleary eyes over at him. He was obviously groggy, maybe just half-awake, but still lucid enough to know it was not a dream.

Myungjun leaned closer to kiss him, then began to smooth down Dongmin’s wild bed-hair. “I...I think you’re more important than work. Designing can wait—you can’t, and I shouldn’t make you.”

He noticed a smile tugging at Dongmin’s lips before he buried his head into the crook of Myungjun’s shoulder. “I love you,” he whispered, lips brushing against the bare skin he was met with. “Thanks for coming home, Junnie.”

“Anything for you, my sweet Minnie.”

They fell asleep in each others’ arms, as they had before, and Myungjun realized work never made him even half as content as Dongmin did.

 

****************

 

Waking up in Dongmin’s arms was just as desirable to going to sleep in them. Myungjun was smaller, slimmer, much more lithe. Dongmin was tall and strong and enveloped Myungjun in such warmth and Myungjun wished to never move from this position. It was so perfect, even with the sun blaring in on him and movement just outside their bedroom door.

Dongmin, too, seemed to be awakening. He yawned but held Myungjun all the closer. 

“Morning, Minnie,” was Myungjun’s greeting. He leaned up and kissed Dongmin’s chin, giggling at the stubble he found there. “You need to get up and shave your perfect face, darling.”

Dongmin blinked a few times, then glanced down at Myungjun. “Oh,” he said, and then louder, “Oh,  _ god _ \- Myungjun, I’m so sorry!”

He was scrambling away, and that’s when Myungjun realized where they were.

At Dongmin’s childhood home, in his childhood bedroom, and broken up for a year.

Myungjun instantly grabbed the pillow he had been using and started to hit Dongmin with it. “How  _ dare _ you!” he exclaimed. “I told you  _ not _ to touch me-”

“It’s a habit! I’m so sorry!”

“Is it habit to do it with  _ Bin _ , too? Are you used to guys in your bed that you instantly go for a cuddle? Ugh, I feel sick. I feel gross.”

He had felt warm and protected and loved but now he was empty.

“I’m going to take a shower,” he mumbled in frustration. Dongmin opened his mouth to say something, but Myungjun shot out, “Don’t even  _ try _ to join me. You lost that privilege a long—”

At that moment, the door opened. It was Donghwi again, smiling and saying, “Hey, breakfast is ready. Are you two alright?”

Myungjun supposed it was an odd position for two “lovers.” They were on opposite sides of the bed, seated, Myungjun with a pillow clenched in his hands. They were arguing, too, and Myungjun certainly couldn’t wipe the anger off his face that quickly.

“We’re fine,” Dongmin assured his brother.

Donghwi didn’t seem convinced. “Are...you two fighting again? Even after yesterday?” He cocked his head. “Is something going on?”

“No. Nothing. We’ll be right out for breakfast, so…” Dongmin waved a hand, gesturing for Donghwi to leave them, which the boy did after a couple more seconds of intense scrutiny. The door closed, and, once more, Dongmin and Myungjun were left alone.

Dongmin sighed. “We have to stop this,” he murmured. “Myungjun, I know it’s difficult—hell, I know it sucks and you’d rather be anywhere else on earth right now, but we just need to get through the next few days without doing  _ this _ , alright?”

“I only started something because you had grabbed onto me like we were still...together,” Myungjun snapped. “And we’re  _ not _ , and that just reminded me that clearly, you must do this with Bin all the time.”

Dongmin said nothing. As usual, he chose not to defend himself against any of Myungjun’s harsh words. Myungjun hated it. It always made  _ him _ seem like the bad guy, instead of the other way around.

“I’m...I need to shower. Tell your family I’ll be down in a bit.”

He didn’t wait to hear what Dongmin had to say. He simply grabbed some clean clothes and trudged to the bathroom, where he locked the door and sighed, leaning his head against the wall.

His heart hammered in anguish and in love.

He wished, every single day, he could wake up in Dongmin’s arms. Back when they first started to date, he remembered how honored he felt just to be hugged by the younger man. Then, when he started sleeping over at Dongmin’s place, he remembered waking up with joy filling his very being. He had never felt so happy anywhere else except curled up with Dongmin.

This proved, too, that he still felt that way. He longed to go back in time and to wipe away Dongmin’s memory so that they didn’t have to pull apart. He would have kissed Dongmin’s stubbled chin, and then Dongmin would have kissed his cheek. Their movements would have been slow and their contact would have been soft.

That was how it used to be. That was how love was between them. Slow and soft.

Myungjun started the shower and held a hand underneath the water, waiting for it to become warm.

He couldn’t exactly pinpoint when it was Dongmin started to become distant. He didn’t recall if there was a pivotal moment. It seemed to spring up at once—Dongmin started sleeping on the couch and refusing kisses and then, finally, taking  _ Bin _ to bed with him.

Why did he cheat? Why would he want to ruin the great relationship they shared together?

Myungjun stepped in the shower and thought of Bin.

Bin was wide-shouldered and muscular and had a weird nose. His face reminded Myungjun of a cat. Myungjun had liked him and had gotten along fine with him. When Dongmin finished a writing goal, they would often go out for drinks. Bin was fun to sing karaoke with. He liked to explore, too, just as Myungjun did, and he liked to eat all the same foods Myungjun liked. Bitterly, Myungjun wondered if Dongmin just replaced him with someone more rugged and handsome and tall and attractive and talented. Myungjun wondered if Dongmin noticed the similarities between them.

“Stupid Bin,” Myungjun whispered, voice drowned out by the rushing water. “Stupid Dongmin.”

Stupid deal. He hated the thought of going downstairs and pretending, once more, that he was Dongmin’s boyfriend. He had no choice, though. He had made a promise, had made a deal, and at least he would be rewarded at the end.

At least he would never again have to lay eyes on Dongmin.

His heart ached and moaned as he dressed and dried his hair. Not seeing Dongmin was like not seeing the sun or the moon. It was like getting rid of flowers and butterflies and big, pretty trees. Myungjun’s life had already spiraled downward since they had broken up. How much worse would it be if he could never again contact Dongmin?

_ Maybe it will be better _ , he assured himself. Without Dongmin at the forefront of his life, he could focus on other things. He had been slacking off at work after being looked over for his promotion; perhaps he could try harder. He had been on disastrous first dates; maybe he could put more effort into finding a perfect soulmate. He could get a pet, maybe a kitten, and find a place of his own. Things  _ could _ be better without Dongmin.

Except Dongmin had loved him so fiercely and hurt him so fiercely, and Myungjun wasn’t sure if that could ever be erased.

There was a knock at the bathroom door, and Myungjun jumped. “I-I’m hurrying!” he called out. He combed his hair quickly, then opened the door.

Dongmin’s mother stood there, smiling widely.

“H-Hello,” Myungjun greeted. “Sorry. I’m just tired and lost track of time.”

“It’s alright! I just didn’t want to start without you!” Dongmin’s mother, always so sweet and kind, pulled him into a hug. She ruffled his hair - thus ruining his combing job - and asked, “Did you sleep well? Dongmin said he slept fine.”

Myungjun nodded his head. “Fine,” he agreed.

Usually he was more chatty and talkative, so he supposed it made sense that she drew back in concern. “Are you okay?”

“I am. I’m...tired,” he repeated himself, offering up a small smile. “Work’s been busy. It’s the only week I’ve been off in...well, probably a year.” It  _ was _ the only week he had been off since he broke up with Dongmin. Burying himself in work had seemed like the viable option at the time. Of course, he didn’t do much work when he got to the office, too distraught to work on design when his life had fallen into disarray.

Dongmin’s mother tutted lightly and shook her head. “You need to rest sometimes,” she ordered. “I’m glad you were able to come with us for the week. I know Dongmin is, too. He loves you so, so much.”

_ So much that he slept with his editor, _ Myungjun thought, but he opted to keep that thought to himself. “I...love him,” he managed to say.

It wasn’t a lie. It would never be a lie. That’s what hurt him the most.

He was led to the dining room, and Dongmin’s mother gave him a seat right next to Dongmin, who instantly seemed in character.

“Hey, darling,” Dongmin murmured. It was so natural and Myungjun truly wished he could puke all over him. “You feel better after your shower?”

“ _ Much _ better,” Myungjun replied.  _ Since I was away from you. _

Dongmin just smiled and pointed at Myungjun’s plate. “I put it together for you. I hope it’s good.”

Myungjun glanced down at his meal and he had to force himself to breathe properly. Dongmin still remembered all of his favorite foods. His plate was loaded with the best of Mrs. Lee’s cooking, and Dongmin had specifically left off foods that Myungjun hadn’t ever been fond of.

Briefly, Myungjun wondered if Bin would have his meal prepared the same.

Briefly, Myungjun wondered if Bin would be the one in this spot next year.

“I have never seen a more loving couple than you two,” Dongmin’s grandmother suddenly spoke, voice frail and shaky. She smiled over at Dongmin. “I was not happy when I was told you were dating a  _ man _ , but...Myungjun is perfect. I can’t ever imagine you with anyone else.”

“Thanks, Grandma,” Dongmin responded, smiling over at the older woman across the table.

Myungjun glanced up, first at her loving expression, and then over at Dongmin.

He had come to know Dongmin’s face quite well over the years they had dated. After all, he couldn’t make out with a guy and  _ not _ know his face. He knew all the gestures and what they meant, all the smiles and what they portrayed.

Dongmin was grinning and seemed grateful, but his smile was pulled too wide and his eyes crinkled far too much.  _ Discomfort _ . 

Myungjun pursed his lips with that knowledge but then realized that Donghwi, sitting beside his brother, seemed to recognize it, as well.

Donghwi’s eyes narrowed before he turned his gaze onto Myungjun.

Well, it seemed they might not have fooled  _ everyone _ in the family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please follow me on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/thevonseal) i'll give spoilers and updates and whatnot! i also post my update schedule onto twitter, so if you're curious when this fic will release chapter five, check there!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **chapter warnings** : pain? also cheating implications

Myungjun found that it was becoming more and more difficult to continue to act as a couple.

The rest of the day had passed uneventfully. Myungjun and Dongmin had volunteered to run to the store with Donghwi, who kept a close eye on them the entire time. As such, Dongmin definitely stepped up his game of pretending to be the doting boyfriend. He brushed Myungjun’s hair, he kept kissing his temple, and he refused to let go of Myungjun’s hand as they walked through the store for groceries.

Myungjun was in no position to tell him off, either, not with Donghwi now suspicious of them, but he still found himself growing uncomfortable. This was the most contact he had with Dongmin in a long while. After nearly a year of hardly even talking to Dongmin, Myungjun felt his presence every single second of the day.

It was overwhelming. It was hard to breathe. 

The family didn’t allow Myungjun to escape from Dongmin’s grasp so easily, either. They kept him up late, playing board games and card games, reminiscing on past holidays or important events. Through it all, Dongmin kept Myungjun close, and Myungjun tried his best not to pull away and sob.

He kept his tears in check up until they were finally alone for the night, closed off in Dongmin’s bedroom, and then he cried.

He hadn’t really wanted _ Dongmin _ to see him cry, either, but he couldn’t stop himself. As they lay down, Myungjun buried his face into his pillow in an effort to stifle his sobs, but he was certain Dongmin could hear the little sniffles and gasps anyway.

“Myungjun?” Dongmin whispered.

Myungjun angrily wiped at his tears. “Go away,” he said, voice muffled from the fabric of the pillow. “Leave me alone.”

“Myungjun, please don’t cry,” Dongmin begged. He rolled over and gently touched Myungjun’s shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

Myungjun couldn’t believe how insensitive Dongmin was being.  _ What’s wrong? _ Everything was wrong, surely Dongmin must understand. They had broken up due to Dongmin’s own neglect of their perfect relationship, and now he lay there, wondering why on earth Myungjun was crying?

Myungjun took a deep, shuddering breath, and snapped, “I had loved you for so long, and you threw away everything we had, and now we’re here together again and I  _ missed you _ . I’m so upset, because-because all the touching and kissing should mean something more to you. It shouldn’t just be acting. An-And I shouldn’t have to feel upset every time you touch me or hold me, and I  _ do _ , because I know it’s all fake and this is the last I’ll get of it before you’re out of my life completely.”

He felt as if he had revealed too much of his feelings, but he couldn’t stop. He had to let Dongmin know just how terribly he had ruined things. “Jinwoo said - he said I shouldn’t be doing this. He knew better than to let me, and I still came, just because I wanted one last  _ week _ with you. I wanted to pretend that you loved me, if only for a little bit. You...you abruptly ended our relationship and-”

He let out a strangled sob and buried his face deeper into the pillow. “You don’t know what it was like to see that! It was our anniversary, and I came home t-t-to  _ that! _ ”

Dongmin said nothing. He neither refuted nor defended his actions. It seemed he had long since accepted the sins he committed, and he seemed to understand that nothing he would say could make things any better.

Still, Myungjun wanted him to try. Myungjun wanted him to say, “I’m so sorry for what I’ve done, it was a one-time thing and I don’t love Bin, I love you.” But Dongmin said none of that, and Myungjun curled up further into himself.

“Forget it,” he whispered, wiping his tears onto his pillow. “I’m an idiot. I never should’ve accepted. Jinwoo was right.”

Dongmin’s hand rubbed at Myungjun’s shoulder. It was comforting, yet it reminded Myungjun that they would never again be together. They would be apart for the rest of their lives.

Myungjun couldn’t stand that thought. He remembered how happy he was the morning prior, just before he realized that they were broken up. He was in Dongmin’s arms and he was warm and protected and so  _ happy _ .

His pride was at stake if he asked for that again. He would always be that guy who was cheated on and still went crawling back.

Pathetic. Pitiful.

“Dongmin?” Myungjun asked, his voice small and soft.

Dongmin’s hand had yet to stop rubbing. “Hm?”

“Can...can you, um, can...you hold me? One last time? Please?”

Dongmin stilled, and Myungjun spared a glance over his shoulder. He felt red in the face, embarrassed to be asking such a thing, but he threw his pride out of the window. If he would truly never again see Dongmin after this, then surely it didn’t matter how he was viewed.

“I just want to be in your arms before...before we’re done for good. Please.”

Dongmin drew his hand back. “It doesn’t matter to you that I...I cheated?” 

It was the first time he had truly admitted to such, and Myungjun’s heart felt like it was tearing. “It does,” he said, “it always does, but I love...you. Still. I just...we can’t be together, but...just once. Please. For me.”

It took Dongmin a few more seconds of hesitation, but soon enough, he grabbed onto Myungjun and drew him closer into his body. Myungjun instantly molded into Dongmin’s shape, clinging onto his shirt as if he might be whisked away should they let each other go. Dongmin smelled of that shampoo he enjoyed and of the beer he had been drinking just an hour before, and Myungjun inhaled deeply.

He had missed this.

He had missed Dongmin.

“Tell me if...if you’re uncomfortable,” Dongmin murmured. He ran his fingers through Myungjun’s hair. Comforting and protecting and  _ oh _ , so loving. Myungjun could have wept some more, but he tried his best to stay silent now, to just focus on Dongmin’s light breathing.

He knew he wouldn’t be uncomfortable. Not when this was all he had wanted.

 

****************

 

The office was busy. Myungjun hardly had a moment to rest. He was checking over designs and fixing the issues that kept popping up. The client had changed her mind on a few aspects of the building at the last minute, and now Myungjun and his team were struggling to meet her demands before the deadline in two days.

“It’s going to be another late night,” Eunji muttered with a groan as she grabbed a file from her messy desk. “I was going to go out for drinks, too. This sucks.”

Myungjun gave a non-commital grunt as he continued typing in various descriptions and checking up on fire codes. He couldn’t quite remember what all he had planned today, but he grabbed his phone anyway and sent a quick message to Dongmin.

_ [to: minnie my love] b home late tonight maybe not at all sorry love u. _

It didn’t take very long for Dongmin’s response to come in.

_ [from: minnie my love] You weren't home on time yesterday, either. Or the day before that. Or before that. _

Myungjun sighed. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He thought he had explained to Dongmin that he had important things to do at work. Why was he being bothered with this?

_ [to: minnie my love] i told you its important work client has changes cant extend deadline sorry love u. _

Dongmin seemed quiet after that and Myungjun went back to work. Of course, the moment he got into the groove of things again, his phone went off.

_ [from: minnie my love] Did you forget? It’s our anniversary. Five years. And you’re sleeping at work. _

Myungjun’s stomach dropped.

_ [from: minnie my love] I had reservations, too. I had a whole night planned. It was going to be perfect. Why are you putting work above me? _

That guilt that had nestled in his chest many weeks ago was now hungry. Myungjun felt it clawing at his skin. He stared at his phone in worry, fingers hovering over the letters on the keypad.

When he glanced up, no one else seemed to understand his internal dilemma. They were all working just as hard, forgoing their own social lives, to fix things.

Myungjun, as the team leader, couldn’t leave them. He felt bad, but he texted Dongmin back.

_ [to: minnie my love] im so so sorry its just one morenight i can make it up to u!!! we can go out another night. is that ok?? _

He couldn’t get back to work until he received the new message. It took seven minutes.

_ [from: minnie my love] fine. _

Perhaps Dongmin wouldn’t be happy about this arrangement, but there was little that Myungjun could do. He texted back a few hearts and then placed his phone down. Guilt was now calm and Myungjun felt re-energized. With his boyfriend’s acceptance, they could put their anniversary on hold and celebrate at a later date, when all the work here was finished. Myungjun would ensure their anniversary was  _ perfect, _ too, and he smiled happily as he got back to work.

Still, even though Dongmin had confirmed for a later date, Myungjun still felt more and more upset the later it got. He hadn’t remembered their anniversary. He had totally forgotten, and he was certain Dongmin was aware of that. He tried to recall if maybe Dongmin had reminded him. Had Dongmin said anything that would signify an important date?

Myungjun scrolled back through his text messages. 

Nothing, save for the usual  _ please come home _ and  _ im sorry i have to work late i love you _ exchanged between him and Dongmin. Nothing to indicate tonight was an important night.

So, by all means, Dongmin ought to be fine. He hadn’t reminded Myungjun, and he hadn’t actually specifically stated that this date need to be blocked off, so surely he would understand why it didn’t really cross Myungjun’s mind.

_ That’s an awful way to look at things, _ Myungjun told himself, remembering all those times he had expected Dongmin to be somewhere and Dongmin always was. Dongmin was so reliable and trustworthy and sweet.

The least Myungjun could do was return the favor.

He glanced over at the time listed on his computer. It was well after two in the morning, and Myungjun’s eyelids were drooping. If he went home at this time, it wouldn’t really be worth it, would it? He would get to sleep for maybe a few hours before he had to wake right back up and take the bus back into the city for work.

At least, though, he would get to spend a little bit of his anniversary with his boyfriend.

“Eunji,” he stated, pulling on his coat. The girl glanced up from her coffee and blinked. “I forgot that I had to get something from my brother. I’ll be gone until early tomorrow morning, but I’ll take in the first bus I have. You can watch over things here for me, right?”

Eunji nodded her head slowly and looked around at their other coworkers, most of whom were now asleep at their desks. “Um...you never said your brother was in town.”

The lie had come naturally. After his parents had disowned him for dating a boy, he had simply kept things quiet. Dongmin was the only one proud enough to actually tell people they were together. Dongmin was always the sweet, good boyfriend of their relationship, and Myungjun smiled just thinking about him.

“He came in last night,” he lied again. “I really need to go. Sorry.”

He ignored her other mumbled questions and concerns and quickly raced out of the office.

The taxi driver was slow and talkative, and the streetlights were all red for much longer than Myungjun thought was necessary. As such, he practically darted from the taxi the moment it stopped at his apartment, and he couldn’t wipe the grin off his face as he rushed up the stairs.

He fumbled with his keys a bit, overly excited, and finally opened his door.

The lights were off, as he expected, but unexpected were the empty bottles of beer and wine laying on the table. Some of it was Myungjun’s good wine, too, the ones he had been saving for a special occasion. He stared at the mess for a few seconds before bending down to remove his shoes.

Next to Dongmin’s pair of shoes were an unfamiliar pair.

Myungjun’s heart nearly stopped as he stared at those shoes. It meant someone else was here. It meant someone else was staying the night.

He tried to tell himself that maybe it was Donghwi, or maybe Jinwoo had popped by for a little bit, but neither of those two choices made any sense - Donghwi was at university, and Jinwoo had no reason to come and see Dongmin.

“Dongmin?” Myungjun called out quietly. He felt anxiety and dread settle down in his stomach. “Minnie, darling, are you here?”

No response. It was too late. Dongmin was probably asleep.

The unannounced guest must have been asleep, too.

As he neared his bedroom, he tried to tell himself that maybe Dongmin bought a new pair of shoes, or maybe he always had those and Myungjun just forgot, or maybe-

He opened the door and glanced over at his bed.

Two bodies lay there.

Myungjun didn’t know what to do at first. It was dark and he was unable to see who else it was, so it made the most sense to turn on the light. However, Myungjun was terrified of what he might discover should a light be on. He prayed it was some family member who needed a place to crash, or else maybe just a trick of his eyes. 

He prayed it wasn’t what he thought it was.

With a deep breath, he flicked on the light switch and got a better view.

It was Bin, Dongmin’s editor, splayed out across  _ Myungjun’s _ side of the bed. He wore no shirt and his muscles were every bit as impressive as he had bragged to Myungjun and Dongmin. One arm was stretched out across Dongmin’s chest.

Dongmin also had no shirt and, weirdly enough, no pants. Only his boxers.

Myungjun felt his world shatter around him.

 

****************

 

Upon awakening, Myungjun realized just how much he had truly missed Dongmin’s embrace. It was all he thought about some nights, forced to go to sleep on the small twin bed in his new room in Jinwoo’s apartment. He always knew there was a missing space for Dongmin, a space he could never quite fill with any other man.

Now, he was back in Dongmin’s arms, if only for a few more minutes, and it felt perfect.

He grasped onto Dongmin’s t-shirt and buried his face into the fabric. He didn’t want mere  _ minutes _ of this. He wanted hours and days and years and decades and centuries. There would never be enough time to spend with Dongmin.

He felt Dongmin’s hand suddenly cup at the back of his head, holding him close, and before he had a chance to react, Dongmin’s fingers were combing through his messy bed hair. When Myungjun looked up, Dongmin’s expression was so loving, so serene, and Myungjun felt like crying all over again.

“Good morning, Junnie,” Dongmin whispered.

The old nickname brought back such memories, such wonderful memories, but Myungjun couldn’t handle them. Not now. Not when he knew this would be one of his last times ever with Dongmin.

He pushed the younger man away and quickly stood from the bed. He ignored the apologies falling forth from Dongmin’s lips and said, “I need...I gotta pee.”

He snatched his phone from the bedside table before he hurried away from the room, out of Dongmin’s sweet embrace.

Once locked away and seated on the edge of the bathtub, he found Jinwoo’s contact and called him, closing his eyes and begging, with each ring, for his friend to pick up.

Jinwoo had always looked out for him, and he definitely didn’t disappoint. “Myungjun, hey. Is everything alright?”

“I-I can’t do this,” Myungjun stammered, running a hand down his face. “Dongmin is - he’s...he’s being so  _ loving _ . He’s reminding me of-of why I still love him. Why I’ll always love him. I don’t want to be broken up, I want to be back with him-”

“He cheated on you,” Jinwoo reminded. “Myungjun, you can’t go back. You don’t truly want to go back. You’ll never, ever be happy if you do.”

“I know.” Myungjun sighed loudly. He glanced around the bathroom, familiarized with the little place after years of dating Dongmin and having been accepted into the family, and then he asked, “Can you come pick me up?”

“Really?”

“I...I can’t keep pretending Dongmin and I are still together. It’s hurting me. He acts like he truly still cares for me and loves me, and I  _ want _ that. I wish he did care for me. I wish he did love me.”

Jinwoo was quiet for a few seconds, then he asked, “You don’t think you can handle one more day?”

“No.”

“Alright.” Jinwoo was always quick to agree. Myungjun knew he was dependable. Myungjun knew he was a great friend. “I have to go to work, and you know I can’t call out, but...um, after work. I’ll try and get off early and it’ll take me a few hours, but I should be there later this evening. Just...just stay away from Dongmin as much as you can, alright?”

Myungjun gave a large sigh of relief. “Thanks, Jinwoo,” he murmured.

They said their goodbyes and Myungjun hung up. He stared at the blank screen, already trying to concoct some sort of excuse to leave. Maybe a work emergency. Maybe a family emergency. Maybe he should just tell everyone, the day before Seollal, that Dongmin was sleeping with his editor.

Whatever the case, he knew he should at least tell Dongmin that the deal was off. He opened the bathroom door, steeling himself for the argument he knew would come, but then realized that Donghwi was standing right in front of him.

He had been listening in the entire time.

“So,” the young boy said, raising his eyebrows and crossing his arms over his chest. “You and my brother  _ aren’t _ dating?”

Myungjun realized he had just caused a disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please follow me on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/thevonseal) i'll give spoilers and updates and whatnot! i also post my update schedule onto twitter, so if you're curious when this fic will release chapter six, check there!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **chapter warnings:** slight cursing, cheating implications

“What?” Myungjun managed to blurt out. “I...don’t know why you would think that.” 

Playing stupid was, ironically, stupid. Myungjun knew that Donghwi had heard the important parts of the conversation, and even if he hadn’t, clearly he was picking up on all the social cues. He must have realized that Myungjun would rather be absolutely nowhere near Dongmin - or, perhaps the exact opposite. Myungjun craved Dongmin’s attention if only because he knew he would never have it again.

Donghwi pursed his lips and glanced back at the closed door to Dongmin’s bedroom. “Does Dongmin know that you two have broken up?” When Myungjun said nothing, Donghwi continued, “Because my brother is an idiot, and he’s an idiot who is in love with you. So if you’re deciding to get distant from him first, just know it isn’t going to work. He likes you too much.” Still, no words came from Myungjun’s lips. Donghwi regarded him cautiously, then asked,“Why would you even want to break up with him? I thought you two got along fine. Is there an issue?”

“N-No...you’ve got everything wrong.” Myungjun tried his best to defend himself, but Donghwi kept on talking, drowning out Myungjun’s words.

“I was suspecting something weird was going on. First you two were arguing the moment you arrived, and then you seemed...weird. Like he would be close to you and you’d back off. Is that because you don’t love him anymore? Are you trying to let him down gently? Really? Seollal is tomorrow and you’re treating him like this?”

“That’s not-”

He could say nothing more to refute Donghwi’s statements, however, for Dongmin exited his room and began to walk down the hallway towards them. When he noticed Donghwi and Myungjun together, his eyes narrowed and he stopped in his tracks.

“Myungjun…?” he started, glancing back and forth between the two men.

“I didn’t tell him  _ anything _ ,” Myungjun snapped.

Donghwi blurted out, “He was calling someone, asking for a ride home. He said he can’t keep pretending to be with you. Are you two breaking up?”

This time, it was Dongmin’s turn to be at a loss for words. He blinked, eyes wide as he struggled to come up with some sort of defense, something to save the fake relationship he had established with Myungjun.

Nothing came. Myungjun could see him open and close his mouth a few times before casting a desperate look towards Donghwi and begging, “ _ Please _ don’t tell anyone.”

Donghwi gasped, a hand coming up to cover his mouth. “Are...are you serious? Did...you two aren’t even together?”

“It’s...complicated,” Dongmin stated. He edged closer to Donghwi and Myungjun.

Myungjun took a step back. His discomfort certainly didn’t go unnoticed by either of the brothers, and Donghwi asked, “You two don’t seem to even  _ like _ each other. What the hell happened?”

Myungjun knew that Donghwi was wrong. On the contrary, he still very much loved Dongmin. He just couldn’t continue acting the part of a loving boyfriend when his heart kept getting torn into little, tiny pieces along the way.

“Like...like I said,” Dongmin repeated, “it’s complicated. We, um…”

“We broke up because of...differences,” Myungjun lied. 

He had the perfect opportunity to finally come clean with Dongmin’s adultery. He had dreamed of the day when he got the chance to publicly shame his ex-boyfriend. He had always thought how nice revenge might be, to make Dongmin feel even slightly how he had felt for nearly a year.

Now that chance was in his grasp, however, he found he couldn’t take it. He couldn’t even out his boyfriend for the filthy cheater he was. He felt cowardly, still hiding behind his intense love and infatuation for this man who had ruined both of their lives.

Dongmin, too, seemed rather shocked. He said nothing, but gazed upon Myungjun in bewilderment. 

“What differences?” Donghwi asked.

“Everything,” was Myungjun’s quick response. “Dongmin is a perfectionist, and I’m not. Dongmin’s messy, and I’m not. Dongmin likes dogs, and I like cats. Dongmin prefers going out for movies and I prefer staying in for movies. He likes romantic comedies and historical dramas and I prefer variety or cooking shows. He wants to travel to France but I want to go to New York.” Myungjun crossed his arms over his chest. He tried to keep his voice level. He tried to pretend he hadn’t just been on the verge of breaking down into tears. 

_ Dongmin prefers sleeping around and I don’t _ , he thought to himself as he bit down on his lip.

Donghwi didn’t seem to notice Myungjun’s frustration. He was still gawking over at his brother. “Why did you bring him, then, if you two are broken up?”

“I didn’t want to tell everyone this close to the holidays,” Dongmin replied. 

Myungjun, though, decided to tell the truth for once. “Dongmin said it’s your grandmother’s...well...I mean, she’s getting old, and I...I don’t want her to pass thinking ill of either of us.”

Donghwi cocked his head in confusion. “She’s not going to die,” he stated. “Not for a while, anyway. She’s still healthy. Her doctor gave her a glowing health review last checkup.”

That didn’t make sense. It was completely different from what Dongmin had said. Dongmin had painted such a somber portrait; his frail, aging grandmother wanted one last holiday with her happy family. He would tell only when she died. Wasn’t that what he had claimed?

Myungjun, now, was speechless. He had so much to say, so much to ask, so much to accuse Dongmin of, and yet his mind was too chaotic to even pick out one good question.

Dongmin cut in, “Look, I just decided not to upset her for the time being. We don’t  _ need _ to upset anyone. After the holidays, I’ll announce that Myungjun and I have broken up  _ amicably  _ I didn’t want to cause dra-”

“Amicably?” Myungjun snapped. Donghwi was quick to look over at him; Dongmin took his time, seemingly exasperated. “Are you  _ sure _ we broke up amicably?”

“Myungjun, let’s not get into this right now-”

“Then  _ when? _ Whenever I bring it up, you go silent. You never apologized. You never  _ tried _ . You were clearly done with me for a while, weren’t you?”

His accusations didn’t go unnoticed by Donghwi, who asked, “What...what did he do? Dongmin, what did you do?”

Dongmin took a deep breath, then ran his fingers through his hair. “Not now, Myungjun. I’ll...we’ll talk later. I’ll tell everyone later, too. Donghwi, you  _ need _ to keep this quiet, okay? Just until Myungjun and I can decide when...when to come clean. Alright? You have to promise me you will.”

It was clear that Donghwi did not wish to let the matter go. He was interested and puzzled, but with Dongmin’s urging, he nodded his head. “Alright. Sure. I’m...okay, but you guys had better tell me  _ everything _ when Seollal is done, okay?”

Dongmin sighed. “Yes. Fine. We will. Now, I need...let’s...let’s just go eat breakfast. Let’s not talk about it.”

As per usual, Dongmin didn’t want to discuss anything. Myungjun was sick of such an attitude, and sick of being strung along. He glared over at Dongmin for a second or two before muttering, “I’ll take a shower now, so both of you just leave me alone.”

Despite his anger, and despite Dongmin’s betrayal, he still heard the man say, “Can I get you some clean towels?”

He hated it. Shouldn’t Dongmin be mean to him? They had broken up and Dongmin had  _ cheated _ . Why, then, was Dongmin still trying to be helpful? Why couldn’t Dongmin just leave him alone and stop confusing his heart?

He slammed the bathroom door in Dongmin’s face, refusing to speak to him at all.

 

****************

 

Jinwoo wasn’t able to come.

“I’m so, so sorry, Myungjun,” he apologized, just as he had countless of times since he had called again. “My car just won’t start, and the mechanics are closed since it’s Seollal. I won’t be able to get it fixed in time.”

Myungjun, in the safety of Dongmin’s room, gripped the phone tightly in his hands and stared at the wall in front of him. “It’s fine,” he lied, not wanting to upset his friend.

“I could- I could buy you a bus pass. Or a train ticket. Something to get you out of there-”

“Transportation costs are inflated right now because of the holiday,” Myungjun informed him. He should know; he had looked into it already. He didn’t want Jinwoo to stress out and spend money on his behalf. He should’ve listened to his friend in the first place and never even agreed to this.

As it was, he dug his own grave, so he might as well deal with it all on his own.

Jinwoo was still conflicted. “Are you sure? I really don’t mind.”

“Positive,” Myungjun said with a small sigh. “He’s getting better. Giving me more distance. Told his family I have a lot to do with work and so I need to be kept alone. I’m in his room now.” Myungjun hesitated for a second before adding, “Donghwi knows. He heard me talking to you earlier this morning, but he’s keeping it a secret.”

“Does he know  _ why _ you and Dongmin aren’t together anymore? Did you go ahead and tell him that?”

Myungjun ought to have, perhaps, explained to Donghwi exactly what had happened. He knew that Dongmin had been the one to screw up and so Dongmin shouldn’t be coddled through it all, but he  _ couldn’t _ . He couldn’t stand more people to become disappointed with Dongmin. He didn’t want anyone to hate the man that he still loved.

“I...can’t,” he murmured.

He heard Jinwoo sigh from exasperation, but he was unable to explain himself further. There was a knock at the door, and then Dongmin’s voice-

“Myungjun? Can I come in?”

“I need to go, Jinwoo. Sorry.” He didn’t wait to hear anything else from his friend before he hung up the phone. 

Dongmin hadn’t received an answer; Myungjun didn’t know what to say to him after they got into the fight earlier. He stayed silent, even as Dongmin slowly entered the room.

“Hi,” Dongmin said.

Myungjun pointedly looked away.

Dongmin continued, as if ignoring the slight. “Mom got our hanboks ready. She got yours in your favorite colors. It’s really bright. You’ll look good.”

When Myungjun still didn’t respond, Dongmin walked over toward him, displaying the pretty hanbok. “She bought it specially for you.”

Myungjun felt a lump form in his throat as his eyes finally raked over the pretty outfit. Dongmin’s mother had always cared so much for him. Dongmin’s entire  _ family _ had always cared so much for him. They accepted him, even after his own family had tossed him aside and disowned him. He had forgotten, in the year he and Dongmin were apart, how much he enjoyed a maternal figure doting over him and providing him with food and clothes.

This would be the last he would ever get to experience that, at least for a long while. He knew he ought to make this moment count.

So he reached out to grab the clothing, fingers gingerly tracing the fine needlework. “She...must’ve paid a lot of money for this. It’s high-quality.”

“She likes you,” Dongmin stated.

She always had. They  _ all _ always had. Myungjun glanced up at Dongmin and swallowed past the lump in his throat.

He longed for Dongmin to follow with something cheesy, something romantic, something stupid that would have only been shown in dramas.  _ I like you _ , he needed to say,  _ I always had liked you. I always will like you _ .

But that was for dramas and not for reality. In reality, Dongmin remained silent. He pulled his phone from his pocket and set it up to charge. “I...should go back,” he muttered. “We’re playing a game. You’re, ah, you’re welcome to join us, Myungjun. I’m sure everyone would like it if you did. Well...Donghwi is a little confused right now, but if we treat everything a bit more amicably, he might calm down.”

A domestic family game sounded fun and sweet and-

And Myungjun shook his head. “Still working,” he responded, hugging the clothes tightly to his chest. 

Dongmin frowned. He ran his fingers through his hair and asked, “Can we please just...pretend? A bit more-”

“No.” Myungjun closed his eyes. He didn’t want to look over at Dongmin. He didn’t want to see the face of the man he loved so much and yet could never again have. “I’m done pretending. I don’t...I don’t want to do anything more with you. We’re leaving the day after tomorrow, and then we’ll never have to do anything with each other again, alright?”

Though he didn’t look over, he heard Dongmin sigh. “Alright.”

No fights. No arguments. No begging or pleading or  _ trying _ to make things work. Myungjun’s chest felt like it was caving in, and he held his breath until he heard Dongmin leave the room.

Then, finally, he opened his eyes and blinked away the tears that were gathering.

Dongmin never once tried to fight for their relationship, and Myungjun had no clue why. Was he so worthless and useless that Dongmin didn’t mind tossing him away? Was he so worthless and useless that Dongmin didn’t mind now tossing him around?

He was just a prop to Dongmin at this point, a prop to show that  _ hey, Mom, Dad, look, my relationship is perfectly fine and normal! _

Myungjun gripped onto the clothes and fell back onto Dongmin’s bed, burying his face into the pillow.

He had been determined to stay like that all night, as stiff and tense as a position it was, but he heard Dongmin’s phone ring. He thought to ignore it, but it kept going.

Whoever was on the other line was persistent. They must have called at least three times. They didn’t leave a voicemail, either, they just called and called and called.

Myungjun peeked over at the nightstand and his heart nearly stopped when he saw the name.

_ Moon Bin _ .

It was oddly professional of a contact name for Dongmin’s new lover. Myungjun had heard Dongmin call him  _ Bin _ before, or even  _ Binnie _ .  _ Moon Bin _ reeked of work relation, not of relationship material.

Yet, Myungjun knew better. He had seen Bin laying in bed, practically naked, with Dongmin, sweaty and messy and-

He grabbed the phone and answered it, sitting up and clenching his free hand into a fist.

Bin began to talk without even waiting for a greeting. “About time, Dongmin. How’re things going with Myungjun? You stopped texting me yesterday.”

Myungjun felt rage stir within him. How  _ dare _ Bin call to ask about that. How  _ dare _ Bin egg Dongmin on in treating him like crap. 

How  _ dare _ Dongmin go and have an affair with this asshole.

“Why did you sleep with him?” Myungjun snapped.

Bin was quiet for a second, then asked, “Myungjun?”

“Why-Why did you sleep with Dongmin? Why are you intent on ruining my life? Do you hate me as much as Dongmin hates me? Did I do something to piss me off? You’re an adulterous scumbag, Moon Bin. I thought-I thought you were a friend to us, and you—”

“I’m going to cut you off right there, Myungjun,” Bin replied, sounding exhausted. “Clearly you have the wrong idea about everything. Which is typical, I guess.”

“Excuse me?”

“I didn’t sleep with Dongmin.”

It was the first time someone had outright rejected that accusation. It was the first time someone had fought against it. It should have been  _ Dongmin _ , though, not Bin, to refute such a notion. As false as it was to deny what Myungjun had seen, Myungjun still always wanted  _ someone _ to deny it. He wanted someone other than him to fight for his relationship.

He hadn’t expected Bin, of all people, to be the one to finally fulfill his wish.

It didn’t make him feel any better.

“I know what I saw,” he shot back.

Bin snorted. “What did you see?”

He didn’t want to repeat it. He didn’t want to  _ think _ about it. It made him upset and hurt and angry and distraught. How was he supposed to actually recount such an awful experience? He already had it ingrained in his memory - he wouldn’t dare speak about it again.

When he didn’t answer, Bin asked, “Did you see us actually having sex? Or are you just under the impression we did?”

“I...I know what I saw.”

“Yeah, you didn’t see anything.”

Once more, Myungjun was silent. He didn’t know what to say. 

“Has Dongmin told you that I’m straight?” Bin questioned, “Or that I have a girlfriend? Well, fiance now, we’re engaged. I’m happy with her. We’ve been together for a while.”

“That...doesn’t make you straight,” Myungjun said, his voice weakening and his strength faltering. “Bisexuality is-”

“I’m not bisexual.”

Bin was straightforward - something Dongmin, apparently, wasn’t. Yet, what Bin said made absolutely no sense. Myungjun couldn’t wrap his mind around it. Why would Bin be screwing around with his boyfriend and yet claim to be straight?

He asked as such. “Why did you...why were you in bed with him? On my anniversary? Why did you  _ sleep _ with him?”

“We slept in the same bed. That was it. I can’t...god, he’s an idiot. I can’t believe he hasn’t told you a thing about it.” Bin groaned loudly. “Why do  _ I _ have to do all of this when I didn’t do anything?”

“You  _ slept _ with-”

“You sound like a broken record. Just...stop answering Dongmin’s phone. It’s creepy. Tell him to call me back. Had a few concerns about some of his tour stops. And, for goodness sake, just talk to him about things. You two really have some stuff to clear up, apparently.” 

“I-”

“I would have never wanted to harm your relationship with Dongmin,” Bin said. “But you managed to do enough on your own.”

Then he hung up.

Myungjun still held the phone in his hands. He was confused. What was Bin going on about? What was there to clear up?

Why did he claim he hadn’t slept with Dongmin?

For once, Myungjun began to wonder if he somehow  _ did _ get things all wrong. 

And he wondered why Dongmin had never once tried to clear it all up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :OOO
> 
> please follow me on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/thevonseal) i'll give spoilers and updates and whatnot! i also post my update schedule onto twitter, so if you're curious when this fic will release chapter seven, check there!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **chapter warnings:** maybeeee some angst?

There was knocking at the door.

“Myungjun?” came Dongmin’s voice, “Are you doing okay?”

Myungjun struggled with the ties on the shirt for a couple more seconds before glancing over at himself in the bathroom mirror. He knew he wasn’t wearing his hanbok properly. He had never been able to figure out how to wear them - his own family never dressed in traditional clothing for Seollal, and so Dongmin’s house was the only place he had ever gotten to experience such a thing. This was his fourth time wearing one, and he still couldn’t get it right.

“I...I’m working on it,” he responded.

He hadn’t brought anything up with Dongmin. What should he say? Should he mention the phone call he had with Bin? Should he ask for a definite answer concerning the adultery? Should he just leave the subject alone? There were too many different options and he wasn’t sure which one would be best.

The door cracked open and Myungjun spun around. Dongmin peeked in and smiled nervously.

“I said I’m working on it,” Myungjun snapped at him. “Go.”

“I know you usually have, um, difficulty with the ties. Can I help?”

Dongmin had always helped Myungjun dress for Seollal. He had first gone over the instructions for the outfit, but when he realized Myungjun kept forgetting, he took it upon himself to ensure everything looked proper. It was sweet and kind of him.

But now, when Myungjun was questioning everything and Dongmin had possibly cheated, Myungjun didn’t want to be touched.

He took a step back. “I told you I’m going to do it. Lay off, Dongmin.”

Dongmin watched him for a few seconds, his expression devoid of all emotion. He studied Myungjun’s fingers as they fumbled over the fabric and ties, and finally he asked, “Are you sure?”

Myungjun knew that this was an important and religious time for Dongmin’s family. They liked to pay their respects to their ancestors, especially to Dongmin’s grandfather. If he showed up looking sloppy, he would feel so ashamed.

So he sighed loudly and let his hands drop to his sides. “Hurry up,” he ordered.

He swore he saw Dongmin almost smile as the younger man rushed over to him. However, the smile was gone as quickly as Myungjun had imagined it up.

Perhaps not, then.

Dongmin’s fingers were gentle and his touch was soft. He took his time, trying to make sure things looked pretty and in place. He was so  _ close _ , Myungjun realized, just within reach, but Myungjun couldn’t bring himself to return Dongmin’s touch.

He looked up, instead, and stared at Dongmin’s pretty face, at his intricate and delicate features and his sharp, bright eyes. 

“Dongmin?” he whispered.

Dongmin blinked, then met Myungjun’s gaze. “What?”

“Did you cheat on me?”

It was the first time he had  _ asked _ . He knew what he saw and he had accused Dongmin of adultery at every interaction since their fifth anniversary, but he had never  _ asked _ . He didn’t feel much of a need to, originally, having trusted his own eyes, but after listening to Bin, he wondered if he got things wrong.

He wondered  _ how _ he got things wrong, and he prayed Dongmin could shed some light on that evening.

Dongmin didn’t answer for a second or two. He returned to his task in straightening out Myungjun’s hanbok, and then he asked, “Do you think I cheated?”

Myungjun took a deep breath. “I don’t...know. Anymore, at least. I thought I did. I...I just want to know, for certain, whether or not you cheated on me, Dongmin.”

Dongmin finished off his task in tying Myungjun’s hanbok before responding again. “The relationship was over, anyway. There was no point in trying to keep it alive, was there?”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you saw exactly what you saw.”

It sounded like an admission. It sounded like a confession. Myungjun felt sick to his stomach. “So...you cheated?”

Dongmin looked at him and sighed. “If you believe I cheated, then I cheated.” He turned, then, to walk away, but Myungjun quickly grabbed onto his arm and held him in place.

“Answer me. Yes or no. Did you cheat?”

Dongmin didn’t glance back over at him. He stayed still, but he kept his eyes on the door just before him. “We weren’t compatible. We always knew we weren’t. And—”

“That’s not a yes or no answer. All I want is—”

“No.”

Myungjun forgot, suddenly, that he ought to be breathing. He stared, wide-eyed, at Dongmin’s back, at the bright hanbok he wore and the tense shoulders and stiff stance. It was his first actual confession. It was his first actual  _ answer _ . Gone was the silence he was met with whenever he accused Dongmin of anything, and in its place was a  _ response _ .

He stumbled backwards, releasing Dongmin’s arm, and Dongmin turned his head to look at him, regret shining in his eyes.

“I would never cheat on you, Myungjun, and I—”

Suddenly, Dongmin’s name was called from somewhere down the hallway, cutting off whatever else he had to say. Myungjun started, glancing over at the door, and Dongmin simply sighed again.

“We should go,” he muttered. “Come on.”

“Wait, Dongmin—”

“Let’s...let’s talk later, okay? We need to finish the holiday first.”

He left the bathroom, joyfully responding to whatever it was his mother had to say. Myungjun, however, couldn’t leave as cheerfully. He had to lean up against the sink counter and take deep, harsh breaths.

Why would Dongmin keep that secret for so long? What did he have to gain by letting Myungjun think that he had cheated? Why was he willing to set everything up as some sort of affair and yet not actually  _ have _ an affair?

Myungjun whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut as he grasped onto the countertop.

All those times he had called Dongmin a cheat, or unfaithful, or a whore, or a slut, or all other sorts of words and phrases - all those times, and Dongmin had been innocent?

Why hadn’t he said anything?

Why hadn’t he cleared up what appeared to be either a hoax or a big misunderstanding?

Maybe he had truly loved Bin and this was his way out. Maybe he just hated Myungjun and this was his way out.

Whatever the case, Myungjun knew he needed to just get through the holiday, as Dongmin had suggested, and then he could ask. He would figure it all out and then they could go from there.

So he steeled himself, then stepped out to face the rest of Dongmin’s family.

 

****************

 

Through the entirety of the holiday, Myungjun kept glancing over at Dongmin.

Even as they bowed to Dongmin’s grandmother and parents, even as they offered blessings to Dongmin’s deceased grandfather, Myungjun continued to look over at his ex-boyfriend, desperate for answers and explanations. He knew he ought to pay more attention to the task at hand, especially as he almost spilled a whole bowl of rice onto himself, but he couldn’t help but wonder why Dongmin had lied.

He didn’t cheat - but he had lied.

Myungjun tried to get Dongmin alone, to talk to him. He had offered to clean the dishes and had asked for some help, pointedly looking at Dongmin.

Dongmin ignored him, but Donghwi said, “Sure, I can come for a bit.”

Hanging out with Dongmin’s brother was not what Myungjun had in mind for the night, but he couldn’t complain in front of Dongmin’s family, not when he  _ had _ offered to clean. So he nodded his head and followed Donghwi into the kitchen, his mind still on Dongmin’s betrayal.

“Are you okay?” Donghwi asked him, setting the dishes into a sink with a loud clatter.

Myungjun jumped and glanced over. “Fine.”

Donghwi turned the water on and waited for it to heat up. “Are you trying to get Dongmin’s attention?”

Surprised the boy had so easily guessed, Myungjun’s eyes widened. Donghwi just snorted. “It’s pretty obvious,” he replied to Myungjun’s unspoken question. “At least, to me it is, since I know now you two aren’t even together.” He leaned up against the countertop and crossed his arms over his chest. “What did he do?”

“Why...why do you assume it was his fault?”

“Because you seemed to be blaming him for things yesterday.” Donghwi leaned forward, as if waiting to catch some juicy gossip. “Did he cheat on you?”

Nail on the head. Myungjun laughed nervously and fiddled with one of the ties on his hanbok. “Um...no.”

“Oh. Did... _ you _ cheat on  _ him? _ ”

“No.”

“Did one of you hit the other?”

“God, no,” Myungjun snapped, pushing Donghwi aside to begin the task in washing the dishes. “Dongmin would  _ never _ hit me. I-I’m pretty sure he’s incapable of raising a hand against me.”

Donghwi posed himself to start drying the clean dishes, but it put him in a perfect position to continue scrutinizing Myungjun. “Then will you tell me what he even did?”

Myungjun pursed his lips as he formed soapy suds on one of the rice bowls. He watched steam rise from the hot water, and he wondered,  _ what did Dongmin do? _ If he hadn’t cheated, then what on earth was his crime?

He lied about cheating when he was innocent - was that even a crime?

“He...uh…” Myungjun couldn’t think up a good answer. He cast a helpless look over to Donghwi and admitted, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t...know?” Donghwi was, as expected, confused.

Myungjun slowly shook his head, still deep in thought. “I...thought I knew. For nearly a year, I was certain I knew what happened. Now, though, I think...maybe I’m not so sure about this. Maybe...maybe it was different.”

Donghwi grabbed one of the dishes from Myungjun’s hands and worked on drying it. “Well, you two need to get yourselves together. It was awkward today watching him avoid you. It was  _ weird _ . I’m so used to you guys being happy.”

“Yeah.”

Myungjun had been, too. He missed those days. He missed laughing and kissing and hugging and holding hands. All the mundane, coupley things he had originally complained about, too, were sorely missed. Myungjun’s hands slipped in the water and he whispered, “I miss him.”

Donghwi suddenly pushed Myungjun aside. Water still dripped from Myungjun’s rubber cleaning gloves and he glanced over at Donghwi in shock. “What are you doing?”

“Saving you the trouble of cleaning. God, my mom had better love me for this.  _ Dongmin _ had better love me for this.” He smiled at Myungjun and gestured with his head to the door. “Go talk to him. I’ve got this covered.”

Myungjun thought it would be polite to stay, to help, but his heart yearned for closure and explanation. His heart yearned for Dongmin.

“Thanks,” he said, removing his gloves and handing them over to Donghwi. “Really. Thanks. It-it means a lot. I can...maybe I can figure stuff out now.”

“You’d better. I’m not letting the two of you leave until you figure everything out.”

Myungjun wasn’t sure whether or not Donghwi meant that threat, but he decided against staying to find out. He hurried back into the living room. Dongmin wasn’t there, but his parents sat around with a pack of cards.

Dongmin’s mother looked up. “Myungjun! Want to join us?”

“Uh...I...where’s Dongmin?” Myungjun asked, glancing around the room frantically. “Is he back in bed? I need to talk to him.”

“Outside,” Dongmin’s grandmother supplied helpfully. “Is everything alright?”

It wasn’t alright. Things weren’t fine. Things were chaotic and weird and uncomfortable. Still, Myungjun managed to put on a small smile and he replied, “It will be.”

Confidence. Determination. He wanted to fix this relationship, and he decided he would use Donghwi’s threat to fuel him  - he would not leave until things were figured out.

The backyard was cold as Myungjun stepped out. He still wore only his hanbok, and he rubbed at his arms from the sharp chill that cut through the air.

Dongmin sat on a bench nearby, staring up into the night sky. He, at least, wore a coat and gloves.

Myungjun cleared his throat and Dongmin spun around. “Hey.” He didn’t look at all surprised to see Myungjun standing there.

“Hi.” Myungjun shivered, then sat down beside Dongmin. “It’s cold.”

Dongmin studied him for a second before removing his coat. He still wore a hoodie over his traditional clothes - a funny look, but a warm one. “Wear this,” he whispered, wrapping the coat around Myungjun’s shoulders. “It’s heavy. It’ll make you feel warm.”

Myungjun sighed. He stuffed his arms into the holes of the coat, already feeling a bit of warmth seep back into his body. He still shivered, but it was far less. “This is totally a boyfriend thing to do.”

“Yeah.”

“Which leads into my next question, which you must have seen coming — you  _ didn’t _ cheat?”

Dongmin looked away from Myungjun, back up to the night sky. “That doesn’t need to be a question,” he said. “It’s a statement. It’s a matter of fact. I didn’t cheat.”

It had been what was said before, and yet Myungjun couldn’t stop from feeling breathless. He stared at Dongmin, eyes scanning over the outline of his face against the few lights outside, then he asked, “Why did you lie?”

“When did I lie?”

“When...I said you cheated, and...you—”

“I never agreed that I did.”

It was true. Dongmin never argued the point, but he also never confessed to cheat. Myungjun had been the one to plaster the label of  _ cheater _ and  _ adulterer _ all over Dongmin.

“But…” Myungjun shifted in his seat. “I saw you in-in bed with  _ Bin _ . I  _ saw _ you.”

Dongmin closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat. “I had plans that night, you know. Nice plans. It was our fifth anniversary as a couple. That’s nearly two-thousand days. We were together for almost two-thousand days. And I kept telling you, the days leading up to it, the few days you were home,  _ I can’t wait to celebrate this day with you _ . Then you took on a difficult client. You weren’t home often. You slept at work. I cried myself to sleep on that third night, because this wasn’t the first time you had done this to me. It wasn’t the second. It wasn’t even the  _ fifth  _ time, Myungjun, it just...you kept on and on and on. You hardly spoke to me, and you acted like it was a hassle when I was upset about the lack of time we spent together. You kept saying,  _ you knew I loved my job before you agreed to date me, Dongmin _ . Well, I love my job, too, but I’d put down everything in an instant to be near you.

“The relationship was already strained at that point. I thought our five-year anniversary would maybe bring some passion and love back into it. Maybe you’d see what you were missing, what  _ I _ was missing, and you’d stop working so much. Maybe you’d realize why we were in love in the first place. I...I wanted you to be my boyfriend again, to be how we were at the beginning, but you disregarded all of my reminders. I’d say,  _ remember to come home on the seventh, Junnie _ , and you’d laugh and say,  _ You don’t know how difficult my job is. I’ll be home whenever I can, if I can _ . You didn’t even seem to  _ care _ .”

Myungjun felt his familiar friend, guilt, knocking his heart aside, squishing it and deflating it and ruining it. He could only imagine how painful it must have been for Dongmin. He could only imagine how terrible of a boyfriend he had been.

“I...didn’t realize...I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I am. But...that doesn’t give you a right to-to pretend like you’re cheating on me.”

“That evening,” Dongmin continued, as if Myungjun hadn’t just spoken, “I waited for you. I thought you’d be home on time. You weren’t. I texted, and I was mad because you clearly didn’t care. You told me we’d do it later — as if we can somehow put our anniversary on hold just because you loved work more than you loved me. I couldn’t...I couldn’t do it. I was so upset and I broke into your liquor and took the best ones, the ones I knew you wanted to save. I was prepared to just drink all by myself, but Bin called to ask a question, and I started ranting. I cried so much, Myungjun. I sobbed and sobbed and Bin finally came over and  _ he _ held me as I cried. Which...it made me cry more, because that should’ve been you,  _ not _ Bin.”

Dongmin opened his eyes again, though he stared in front of him, refusing to glance over at Myungjun. “Bin drank with me. We both drank a lot. I drank the most, though. I drank so much and cried so much I thought I would puke, and I  _ did _ puke. All over myself and all over Bin’s shirt. It was horrible. I was so sick, and Bin was trying to get me to bed. He had to remove our clothes, and we both just- we fell into the bed half-naked. I was too drunk to navigate to the dresser, and he decided he didn’t care enough. I fell asleep, and when I woke, you...you were yelling and throwing stuff and I couldn’t put two and two together for a few minutes. I stayed silent. I was lost. Bin — remember, he tried to calm you down and tell you that you were being an idiot, but you got even angrier, and then you left.”

Myungjun swallowed past the lump in his throat. “You could’ve told me later. I came back to pack my things. You were silent then. You took all of my accusations. You didn’t try to refute them.”

Dongmin sighed loudly. He ran his gloved fingers through his hair and then, finally, looked over at Myungjun.

“I wanted to break up with you. I wanted to leave you. And...and that seemed like the perfect opportunity to.” 

Myungjun saw Dongmin’s chin quiver. He saw him bite his lip, duck his head, and heard him choke out, “But I st-still love you.”

Then Dongmin cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND NOW WHAT
> 
> please follow me on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/thevonseal) i'll give spoilers and updates and whatnot! i also post my update schedule onto twitter, so if you're curious when this fic will release chapter eight, check there!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **chapter warnings:** slight language. <3

Myungjun stared through the darkness at the man laying just across from him. Dongmin was always so pretty when he slept. Through the little light that shone through the window, Myungjun could detect long eyelashes and soft skin and high cheekbones. He looked beautiful. He looked ethereal. Myungjun loved him so much.

“Dongmin?” Myungjun whispered. “Dongmin, are you asleep?”

“I would be,” Dongmin mumbled, “if you didn’t keep shifting around like that.”

Myungjun felt sheepish. “Sorry,” he apologized. “I just...are you sure you’re alright?”

“I told you I was.”

Dongmin had said that after he cried into his hands for a while. Myungjun’s comforting skills were not up to par, especially not around his ex-boyfriend, and so he had hovered uselessly until Dongmin was calmed down.

Then they went inside and bid the rest of the family good night and, ignoring Donghwi’s side-eye, they retreated to the bedroom.

There had been no words spoken between them. There was no more explanation, no more apologies, no more _talking_. It was hard, Myungjun realized, to uncover such a heavy truth and then to just keep silent on it. He wanted to talk. He wanted to work things out, to discuss their shaky past, and maybe to patch things up.

He just hoped Dongmin would want to do so, as well.

“Can we—”

“I know what you want to say,” Dongmin snapped. “You’ll apologize. You’ll want to get back together. You’ll promise to do better in our relationship. Then it will be like all those other times when I complained that you were away so often; you’ll stay home for a few nights and then you’ll return to those horrendous working hours.” He shook his head. “I’m not interested in that.”

Myungjun had to close his eyes to escape the accusations tumbling forth. He hoped by shrouding himself in darkness, he would ward them off.

It didn’t work.

All those times he had promised to change had been worthless. He had only gotten Dongmin’s hopes up, and then he dashed them. He treated Dongmin like an object. He treated Dongmin like he ought to stick around no matter what.

In the end, he was the one who screwed up.

“Would...would nothing I say assure you that I’m serious this time?” Myungjun asked. When Dongmin offered no response, Myungjun opened his eyes.

Dongmin looked conflicted. His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips were tight. Myungjun decided he would continue to prod until he received a response.

He wasn’t going to let this relationship die. He refused to stay apart for longer than necessary.

“I didn’t get that promotion.”

Dongmin blinked. “You didn’t?”

Myungjun smiled, though it felt very self-deprecating at this point. “I had gone into work more often than before. I was there as long as I could be, even on the slower days. I just...I didn’t do any work. I got written up, actually, for not doing the work I was supposed to. Eunji—you remember her—she got promoted instead. And I thought...I thought I would be upset about it, but I didn’t care. It didn’t feel worth it suddenly. Isn’t it stupid? I had worked so long and so hard for that one dumb promotion, and I had the chance, and once it was gone, I just...didn’t even care.” He swallowed thickly and muttered, “The only thing I cared about was you, I realized. You know that saying, right? ‘You never know what you got until it’s gone.’ That’s...that’s what happened to me.”

“Oh.” Dongmin let out a loud exhale. “I’m sorry you didn’t get your promotion.”

“No promotion is worth our relationship.”

“But it _was_.”

Dongmin’s words made Myungjun’s entire body tense up. He stared at the man before him in confusion. With the confession and now this small talk, Myungjun hoped that they could work things out. He hoped they could talk things through. Dongmin didn’t seem interested in that, though. He still seemed unsure and accusatory.

“What...what do you mean?”

“I had already asked you to stop staying at work so often. I was already displeased. You _knew_ this, and yet you brushed it off because of the stupid promotion. That promotion was everything to you.”

“Yeah, but...but I...I figured out I wanted _you_ all along!”

“Maybe you figured out too late.”

Myungjun felt sick. His heart pounded harshly against his chest and he gripped at the bedsheets for a second or two before sitting up in bed. “You can’t do this to me,” he whispered with frustration lacing his voice. “You _cannot_ do this to me right now. You have no right—”

Dongmin, too, sat up. “You were the one who ruined things to start with.”

“I’m sorry. I am, I’m so, _so_ sorry. I was dumb, and I should have expected you to break things off with me, but...you pretended to _cheat_ . You can’t place this all on _me_. You led me to believe, for nearly a full year, that you had slept with someone else while I was at work.”

“You wouldn’t have the right to be mad if I did!” Dongmin exclaimed. “You neglected me for such a long time—”

“Is that what this is, then? Revenge?” Myungjun scoffed, but he really felt like crying. He was trying not to, though. He was trying to remain calm and steady even with the intense wave of emotions crashing over him, threatening to drown him. He would stay afloat. “I misunderstood something, an-and you decide to use it as _revenge?_ ”

Dongmin frowned. “It wasn’t...it wasn’t meant to be revenge. I was…”

He trailed off, and Myungjun realized he was struggling to defend his actions.

“Maybe that’s not what you originally intended, but that’s what it turned into, Dongmin.” Myungjun felt his chin quiver. It was too difficult to ward off the tears, and so instead he turned his head away to stare down at his lap. “I screwed up, big time, but—you retaliated and screwed up, too. And I’m so sorry for hurting you and leading you to that, but you don’t...you don’t know how horrible this year has been for me.” He let out a small sob and quickly moved to cover his mouth with his hands. All the while, he wanted to keep talking, though, so he added, “I didn’t—I thought I would n-never recover from this! The idea tortured me! I was _miserable_ , Dongmin, and maybe that’s what you wanted. Maybe you wanted to force me to feel what you felt.” He glanced at the man before him, who looked shocked and upset. “You got your wish,” Myungjun snapped.

“That’s not what I wanted,” Dongmin said, shaking his head to reject that accusation. “I thought...it might be better if we were apart, and I thought that it would be weird if I explained I never slept with Bin but I still wanted to break up—you likely wouldn’t have believed me!”

“I have no reason to believe you now except for trust!” Myungjun snapped. “I trusted you, and you betrayed me like that!”

“Then why didn’t you trust me in the first place?”

Myungjun let out a noise of anguish. “Because you never refuted any accusations! You accepted them! You...you let me go so easily and quickly and never once fought for us.”

Dongmin said nothing, and Myungjun decided he was exhausted. He flopped back over in bed and sighed before angrily wiping at his cheeks. They were wet; he must have been crying.

Dongmin laid down beside him, much slower in movement. He continued to stare, even as Myungjun cried more and more.

“I do still love you,” Dongmin whispered. “I never stopped loving you. Through all the mistreatment, I loved you.”

He liked hearing it, but it still didn’t change the fact that they were apart. It didn’t magically make them a couple again.

All Myungjun wanted was to be Dongmin’s boyfriend.

“I love you,” he responded. “I loved you even when I was certain you cheated and even when Jinwoo got me to call you a dickhead.”

Dongmin pouted. “I’m not a dickhead.”

“No, you were.” Myungjun glanced over at the younger man and gave him a shaky smile. “I was, too.”

“Do dickheads belong together?”

Myungjun sniffed loudly. “Y-Y-You want to be with me, Minnie?”

Dongmin reached out tentatively and wiped some of the tears from Myungjun’s face. He trailed his fingers down Myungjun’s cheeks, creating a contact they hadn’t shared in a long time. He nodded his head and returned Myungjun’s smile. He looked liable to cry at any moment, too.

Myungjun hoped he wouldn’t. Myungjun hated to see him cry.

“We need some ground rules,” Dongmin muttered. “If we’re going to try again, Junnie, we need to establish rules and we need to follow them.”

Myungjun’s heart felt like it was fluttering when he heard the familiar nickname fall forth from Dongmin’s tongue. He wanted to fly, wanted to sing, but instead, he laid in the small bed beside the man he loved more than life itself and cried.

“Rule one,” he said, laughing through his sobs, “don’t fall asleep with your editor, even if you’re just drunk.”

Dongmin snorted. “I can follow that,” he agreed. “Rule two — come home from work on time. I think I’m more important.”

“Of course you are. You won’t have to worry about it anymore.” Myungjun grabbed onto Dongmin’s hand and held it tightly, wanting so desperately to make up for all the lost time they had. “Rule three — no more hiding things from each other.”

“Rule four — if we have a problem, we sit and talk it out. Communication is vital.”

Myungjun nodded his head. “Got it,” he murmured. He brought Dongmin’s hand up to his face and planted a gentle kiss onto the knuckles, then murmured, “Last rule needs to be that I can kiss you every single day.”

“I’d like that rule,” Dongmin whispered.

Myungjun grinned. He was brought closer to Dongmin and nestled within his embrace. This close, he could hear Dongmin’s heartbeat and feel his chest move up and down with each breath of air. It was a position he couldn’t imagine he’d ever feel happy in again.

However, there was an underlying panic that started to brew in his mind. While he did like this position, while he did like the closeness, he had to remind himself that their relationship had restarted. They were like a new couple once again, and if they dived into this too fast, they might jeopardize everything.

Myungjun couldn’t bear to go through a breakup with Dongmin. Not again.

He glanced upwards and said, “Should we...stay further apart?”

“What do you mean?” Dongmin was quick to meet his gaze. Myungjun could detect confusion there, uncertainty, and fear.

He felt bad for riling things up. “I...think we should take this slower than...than we want to. I know we were a couple before this and so maybe it all comes naturally to us, but I think...for now, at least, we shouldn’t be so physical with each other.”

Dongmin’s grip on him loosened, and Myungjun moved back to his own side of the bed. He felt regret; the selfish part of him longed to stay where he was and to indulge in all the love that Dongmin had to offer, but the rational part of him _knew_ that things couldn’t become physical so quickly. Not after spending so much time apart. Not after completely losing trust in their relationship.

“Do you still not trust me?” Dongmin asked him. He reached out and brushed aside some of Myungjun’s hair.

Myungjun swallowed thickly, nervously, and said, “It’s not that. I mean...I _do_ , but...part of me is just concerned that we might fall back into old habits again.”

“Old habits?” Dongmin asked. “Like, you stay late at work because I kiss you too much?”

“Don’t be dumb,” Myungjun scoffed. He sighed loudly and rolled over to look up at the ceiling. “Lack of communication was our issue. Neglect on my part; lies on your part. I’m worried I’ll become used to your love. I’ll take it for granted again. I will think _he can’t leave me twice_ . And I’m worried you’ll retaliate by seeking other company. I don’t care if it _is_ Bin, and if he _is_ straight—”

“So, what, if you neglect me, am I not allowed to find someone else?”

Myungjun closed his eyes. “I won’t neglect you,” he muttered. “I can’t break Rule Number Two. And, no, you aren’t just allowed to find someone else. If you have an issue, you need to talk to me. Give me that ultimatum. Don’t let me come home to you sleeping with some guy and lead me to believe for a whole year that you had sex with him.”

“I won’t. That would break Rule Number One.” Dongmin grabbed Myungjun’s hand and held it. “Why can’t we show affection now, though?”

“Because I want to woo you. And I want you to woo me.” Myungjun turned back to his side and smiled softly at Dongmin. “If we’re going to restart this relationship, I want us to restart at the very beginning. Let’s take our time. Let’s grow to trust one another again and respect one another again. Is that okay, Minnie? Can we do that?”

Dongmin was quiet for a few seconds, as if pondering this new request. Eventually, he sighed and returned Myungjun’s smile. “You’re being smart with this,” he murmured. “Very smart. I just...I want to scoop you into my arms and kiss you and love you forever, but...you’re right. Our relationship needs to grow some more.”

Myungjun longed to allow Dongmin the chance to kiss him and hold him, but he knew better than to give in to his desires. He had to stay apart. He had to take it slow. “You can still love me forever,” he teased. “I’m not barring you from doing _that_.”

“Good. You wouldn’t have been able to, anyway.” Dongmin laughed lightly, then glanced at their conjoined fingers. “Can I hold your hand all night? Is that, at least, alright?”

“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t allow you to let go.” Myungjun rested their hands between them and stared happily at the bit of affection they could share.

Dongmin looked so pleased. Dongmin looked so enthused. Myungjun’s gaze, then, was drawn from Dongmin’s hand (which was objectively beautiful) up to his face (which was literally beautiful).

“Good,” Dongmin whispered. “I wasn’t going to let go either.”

 

****************

 

“Thank you so much for letting me stay here for the week,” Myungjun said, bowing his head respectfully to Dongmin’s parents and grandmother. Beside them stood Donghwi, a knowing smirk on his face as his eyes darted back and forth between Dongmin and Myungjun.

Mrs. Lee smiled brightly and exclaimed, “You know you can come down at any time, Myungjun! Maybe visit in the summer, when it gets a bit warmer. Or we could all go on vacation together!”

Donghwi stopped his judging to quickly interject. “I like the idea of a vacation. We should fly somewhere, since Dongmin’s a famous author now and can probably afford it — how about France? Dongmin, should we go to France?”

“Don’t start mooching off of me now that you know I make money,” Dongmin scolded, shooting his younger brother a glare.

Donghwi looked as if he couldn’t care less. “What’s the point in having all of that money if you’re just going to hoard it? You should share.”

Dongmin sighed and glanced over at Myungjun. “We’ll discuss it,” he said.

Their relationship was new again, fresh again, and they needed time to develop trust and forgiveness. Going off on a family trip might not be proper.

Still, Dongmin smiled kindly, and Myungjun knew things would be fine. Rocky for a bit, perhaps, but they would get through it.

“France does sound fun,” Myungjun teased, much to Dongmin’s chagrin. He moaned as the rest of the family laughed at his misfortune.

“Myungjun,” Dongmin’s grandmother said, gesturing at him. Myungjun stepped closer and bent to her level, hands on her chair.

“Yes?”

She patted his cheek with shaking hands and whispered, “You take good care of him, okay? You treat him like the prince he is.”

Her voice was loud. Dongmin clearly heard it, for he groaned, “Grandma, stop it.”

“What? You deserve to be treated well!”

Myungjun grinned and nodded his head. “He does,” he agreed. He kissed the old woman’s cheek before straightening back up. “I’ll make sure Dongmin is treated well, and I’ll do my best to keep him in line.”

With that promise, the family sent Dongmin and Myungjun on their way. Donghwi went out to help load their suitcases, and once alone, he asked, “Did you two...make up? Are you all good?”

Dongmin glanced over at Myungjun. “We...we did. We’re taking it slow, though. We’re rebuilding up our trust for each other.”

“Myungjun never told me what it was — did one of you cheat?”

“Leave it alone, Donghwi,” Dongmin fussed, shoving his brother aside. “It was just bad communication. Nothing that drastic.”

Myungjun hid his smile while stacking his suitcase away in the trunk of Dongmin’s car. He did say, “We were both dickheads.”

“Oh.” Donghwi raised his eyebrows. “Did you _both_ cheat?”

“We’re leaving, Donghwi,” Dongmin snapped. He climbed in the car with no further pleasantries as Donghwi stepped back to cackle.

“If you two come back as an _ex-_ couple again, I really will tell,” he warned, a big smile on his face. “Stop getting in fights!”

“Goodbye, Donghwi,” Myungjun called out as he sat in the passenger seat. Once his door was closed, Donghwi’s voice was stifled.

They drove off, ignoring the obnoxious grin Donghwi was showing off, and Myungjun said, “He’s right.”

“No, he isn’t.”

“I mean, about...about how we need to stop getting into fights.”

Dongmin gave a small _ah_ in understanding and he nodded his head. “I believe that falls under Rule Number Four, correct?”

“Well, Rule Number Four is about communication. I guess that could be the same as no fighting.”

Myungjun laughed. He leaned over the console to give Dongmin’s cheek a small kiss, and then said, “And that’s Rule Number Five.”

He could already see the blush rising up Dongmin’s pale face, and he watched in amusement as Dongmin’s ears turned red. The younger man cleared his throat and murmured, “I think that might be my favorite rule.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> romance is still a tag. fluff is a new one, too. ;D
> 
> please follow me on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/thevonseal) i'll give spoilers and updates and whatnot! i also post my update schedule onto twitter, so if you're curious when this fic will release chapter nine, check there!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **chapter warnings** : just fluff :3

Things had not become magically better between the two of them, Myungjun realized. There were still bumps in the road, twists and turns left to overcome, and on some days, Myungjun was tempted to give up to save himself the heartache.

He was sure that Dongmin was tempted to give up, too, if that exasperated stare was anything to go by.

“You can’t panic just because I’m going out to dinner with Bin,” Dongmin stated, pulling a jacket on over his sweater. “Nothing will happen; he has a fiance.”

Myungjun clasped his hands together in front of him, trying not to mess with his fingers too much. “People cheat all the time.”

“Are you implying he’ll cheat? Are you implying  _ I’ll _ cheat?”

“I’m...not implying anything.” Myungjun furrowed his eyebrows and bit his lip. “I just...come on, if you thought I had cheated with Jinwoo and later I was going out for dinner with—”

“But we’ve established that I did  _ not _ cheat,” Dongmin pointed out. “Besides, it’s a business dinner. Bin’s been wondering if a sequel is possible, so we’re just meeting up to discuss it.”

“Can I come?” Myungjun asked, hopeful and still unsure. “It’ll make me feel better if I’m...if I’m there with you.”

Dongmin scoffed. “Because you think I’ll cheat on you?”

“No, I just—”

“You don’t trust me.”

“That’s not it!” Myungjun snapped. He moved to cross his arms over his chest. “I trust you. I do. I just…” He wasn’t sure how to best explain his feelings. He wasn’t even sure if Dongmin would listen to him. Still, he wanted to try. He wanted to communicate.  _ Rule Number Four _ , he reminded himself, and so he took a deep breath. “I’m nervous that our relationship won’t...won’t last. I know we’re doing everything we can to build up trust again, but...don’t you tense a little when I go into work? Don’t you text me often throughout the day to make sure I haven’t forgotten you _? _ You trust me, right? But you have doubt, and...and I have that same doubt, Minnie. I do trust you, it’s just...it’s hard.”

Fortunately, Dongmin had listened. Fortunately, Dongmin hadn’t seemed upset with him for displaying his emotions.

The man in front of him sighed. “I...I know it’s hard,” he murmured. He stepped forward and opened his arms out for a hug. Myungjun fell into his embrace instantly. As Dongmin’s arms wrapped around him and held him close, he continued, “I know we both still doubt. It will take a while for that doubt to leave. But forbidding me from speaking with my editor won’t help. And me forbidding you from staying an hour or two late behind at work won’t help, either. I’ll work better on trusting you to not neglect me, if you promise to work better on trusting me to stay true.”

His words, coupled with the physical affection, calmed Myungjun’s frantic nerves. He closed his eyes and leaned into Dongmin’s shirt, smelling his sharp cologne. “Promise,” he mumbled, nuzzling his head into the crook of Dongmin’s neck. 

Dongmin drew back and smiled at him. He leaned in, as if to kiss, but then thought better of it and ruffled Myungjun’s hair.

“You should go home,” he murmured. “Before it gets too late.”

Myungjun longed for that kiss, but he knew he was the one who suggested they take their time with the relationship. It had been a couple of weeks since they started dating again, yet no kiss came.

Myungjun assumed that Dongmin was waiting for him to make the first move.

He stood on his toes and placed a gentle peck on Dongmin’s cheek.

His boyfriend blushed, and Myungjun giggled as he lowered himself again. “Rule Number Five,” he stated, “is to kiss you every single day. And even if we’re not moving to kissing on the lips just yet, you know I have to enact that rule any chance I get.”

Dongmin rubbed at the affected spot and laughed. “I know,” he agreed. “I don’t mind it.”

“You  _ like _ it,” Myungjun teased him, flicking his forehead. “Here, let me walk out with you. I’ll leave once you’re in your car so I know my darling Minnie is safe and secure.”

He wanted to spend as much time with Dongmin as he could, even if part of that time was dedicated to walking him out of his apartment and down the street to the parking garage. As they walked, they hooked arms with each other and kept smiling and it was over far too soon. Myungjun didn’t want to pull away, yet he knew Dongmin had to go.

“I, um, I hope that the sequel talk works out for you,” he stammered as he slowly loosened his grip on Dongmin. “I hope that you’re...you’re able to write a cool sequel that will also become a best-seller.”

“Even if it doesn’t work for this book, I can just write a new book. Maybe a new series.” Dongmin smiled brightly, but then seemed to notice Myungjun’s reluctance to part. He poked Myungjun’s nose and murmured, “Hey, Jun — it’s just business. I don’t like Bin like that, alright?”

Myungjun nodded his head to show he understood. “Yeah. Of course.”

Dongmin stared at him for a few seconds longer before leaning forward suddenly. Myungjun gave a small start, but Dongmin held him steady in place. “I love you, Junnie,” he whispered.

“I...I love—” was all Myungjun was able to get out before he was kissed.

It was a soft kiss, a chaste kiss. When Dongmin had kissed him like that before, it was always so casual that Myungjun hardly batted an eye. This time, however, he stood still, feeling the butterflies explode in his stomach. He could feel every single bit of the kiss, from Dongmin’s soft lips on his own, to the way they were both so tense, even Dongmin’s nose that was pressed into his skin.

Myungjun was flushed when Dongmin drew back; Dongmin, for the most part, seemed very composed.

“Rule Number Five,” Dongmin whispered, ruffling Myungjun’s hair. “How was that?”

All Myungjun could do was grin.

 

****************

 

“He kissed me!” Myungjun yelled the moment he entered his apartment. “Jinwoo! Jinwoo, he  _ kissed _ me!”

Jinwoo, sitting on the couch and reading a book, glanced up and sighed. “Amazing. You two have kissed before, though.”

“Yes, but that was back when we were a couple. I mean, we’re a couple now, but it’s much...newer. Because of the misunderstandings, and…” He trailed off, trying to come up with some explanation, and when he failed to, he just grinned widely and shrugged his shoulders. “Regardless, he kissed me! It was wonderful, Jinwoo, it was like our first kiss all over again. And it happened so fast, too. I was worried about him going off with Bin, because, you know, that wound is still fresh, and so I was hovering when he was trying to leave, but then he kissed me to reassure me that he was faithful!”

Jinwoo raised his eyebrows. “You told me that you never once doubted if he was faithful.”

“I...I know, but...well, back before I learned the truth I obviously assumed he  _ had _ cheated, but now that I know better, I just...now I don’t doubt that he’s faithful.”

“Your mind changes very fast.” Jinwoo went back to his book, even as Myungjun plopped in the seat beside him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, how do you know for certain that he’s telling the truth? What if he and Bin are lying about it?”

Myungjun had given that plenty of thought. The very idea of Dongmin deceiving him kept him up half the night, tossing and turning and wondering if he was being played a fool all along. He had decided, though, after that kiss Dongmin gave him, that he should no longer worry. Dongmin was his and his alone. Dongmin wouldn’t do such a horrid thing.

Doubt, though, tugged at Myungjun’s mind.  _ What if, what if, what if? _

Jinwoo was just complicating matters.

“There’s no reason for him to cheat,” Myungjun said, determined to defend his boyfriend from any sort of attack. “He said he loves me. I think...I think that’s enough, isn’t it?”

“You didn’t think that last year.”

Jinwoo was complicating matters, but he was correct. Last year, Myungjun had been under the impression that Dongmin cheated on him. Last year, Myungjun had wallowed in grief and self-pity, thinking that Dongmin was an adulterer. He did change his mind very quickly when Dongmin explained himself and apologized.

What if, though, Jinwoo was right and Dongmin was lying?

Myungjun bit down on his lip, and Jinwoo, sensing he might have upset Myungjun, quickly shook his head. “No, it’s probably what you said; he’s telling the truth. This isn’t anything to concern yourself over.”

Jinwoo, though, had placed that seed of concern in Myungjun’s mind. It was overwhelming him. As he and Jinwoo watched television, Myungjun checked his phone. No texts. No messages. No calls. What if Bin and Dongmin were clinking wine glasses together and staring into each other's’ eyes? What if they leaned forward to kiss? What if Dongmin invited Bin back to his place?   
There were so many possibilities and Myungjun couldn’t stand it. 

“Hey,” he mumbled, poking Jinwoo’s shoulder. A movie had started and Jinwoo was engrossed in it. “I think I’m going to head out?”

“Okay,” Jinwoo said, only partially listening, but then he blinked and glanced over at Myungjun. “Out  _ where? _ You live here.”

Myungjun shrugged his shoulders. “Um...Dongmin’s place.”

“Why?” Jinwoo was suspicious, and rightfully so.

Myungjun licked his lips as he grabbed his jacket. “You’ve got me worried,” he replied. “I’m...I can’t stop thinking about—about Bin and Dongmin—I just...I need to go look, to make sure, because I’m…”

Jinwoo stood, also, and said, “Myungjun, look, you need to trust him if you’re going to make this relationship work.”

“I do! Or, I did, but then you started going off about him cheating on me and...now I’m nervous.” 

“Okay, but you can’t be with him if you don’t even trust him to do what he said he’d do.” Jinwoo offered Myungjun a small smile, a calm smile, and said, “If you want to continue the relationship, just stay here for the night. Let him call you later. Everything will turn out fine if you just remain calm.”

It seemed so easy to do. In the past, Myungjun would have never found a problem with Bin and Dongmin hanging out. He let it happen all the time; often, he would wave Dongmin off to go see Bin. He tried to remind himself of that, tried to remind himself that nothing probably happened at their meetings and Bin really  _ was _ straight, and Dongmin ought to be satisfied enough with  _ him. _

“I can’t,” Myungjun murmured. He felt so dumb, so paranoid, but he put his shoes on anyway. “I’ll probably be back tonight. He’ll either be pissed with me, or he’ll be cheating—either way, get some beer chilled, okay?”

He didn’t wait to hear what Jinwoo had to say. He hurried out of his house and down the path, determined to face Dongmin and convey his fears once again.

The closer he got to Dongmin’s house, though, the slower his pace became. Why  _ couldn’t _ he trust Dongmin? He had trusted him for those years they had been together. Nothing Dongmin said was ever a lie in that time. While he had deceived Myungjun into believing he was unfaithful, he hadn’t  _ lied _ . 

If he never lied back then, he likely wasn’t lying now.  _ It’s just business _ , he had said.  _ I have no feelings for Bin _ , he had promised.

_ I love you _ , he had confessed.

Myungjun sighed deeply as he neared Dongmin’s apartment building. This had been a dumb plan. What was he expecting to happen? Why was he looking to cause trouble? Why couldn’t he just leave things as they were? 

His phone vibrated in his pocket. Cold fingers dug it from the confines of his jeans.

_ [from: minnie] I’m heading home! The meeting went well; I think I’ll write a sequel! _

_ [from: minnie] I will call you once I’m home! _

Guilt and regret seeped into Myungjun’s bones. What was he doing out here? Why was he so distrusting of his boyfriend? He turned around, ready to leave, but his feet froze in place.

He had come so far; why couldn’t he just make  _ sure _ things were good? Maybe he wasn’t here for spying purposes. Maybe he was here with selfless intentions.  _ I wanted to make sure you got home safe, Minnie, _ he would say.  _ I was worried! _

No, Dongmin would see right through that lie.

Maybe he should just leave. He  _ should _ leave—his feet just wouldn’t move.

A relationship built on paranoia and distrust was bound to fail. Myungjun  _ knew _ this, knew that he couldn’t stay, but he turned himself back to Dongmin’s apartment, anyway, and hurried over to his door.

He could wait for Dongmin here. Maybe he could concoct some sort of lie;  _ Jinwoo wasn’t home and I forgot my spare key _ .

Except Dongmin knew he had the key.

_ I was lonely and just wanted to be with you _ .

Except Dongmin could easily read his facial expressions.

Dongmin could read the lies.

_ I love you _ , he could say, because that wasn’t a lie at all. It didn’t reveal the whole truth, but, then again, wasn’t Dongmin used to not revealing the whole truth? Wouldn’t he understand if Myungjun gave him a taste of his own medicine?

_ No! _ Myungjun scolded himself. He could  _ not _ enact some sort of petty revenge on Dongmin. He refused to go that route. He refused to make things worse. He would be the worst boyfriend ever if he lied and hid the truth. He would be  _ horrible _ , and Dongmin would dump him and Dongmin would have every right to hate him for it later.

“Myungjun?”

The sound of his voice being called made Myungjun jump off the wall he was leaning on. His heart hammered in his chest as he gathered his bearings to look over at Dongmin.

Dongmin looked surprised, eyes wide and stance defensive.

Bin was nowhere in sight.

“Myungjun, what are you doing here?” Dongmin asked.

Myungjun swallowed nervously. He still hadn’t figured out what he should say. He still hadn’t figured out what would anger Dongmin the least.

Dongmin, realizing his answer was silence, tried again, “Were you checking up on me? Were you making sure Bin wasn’t with me?”

His mouth was dry. His mind couldn’t formulate a response. Horrifyingly enough, he felt himself nod, and he realized Dongmin now looked confused.

“You said...you said you could trust me.” He stepped forward, closer to Myungjun, and asked, “Why don’t you trust me?”

Myungjun shivered in the cold and wrapped his arms around himself to keep warm. Dongmin awaited an answer and Myungjun, realizing he could think of nothing, decided to just say what was already weighing on his heart.

“I’m scared,” he admitted. “Jinwoo said  _ what if _ and my mind wouldn’t stop, and I got scared. What if I’m not...not good enough for you? What if Bin is lying and he’s gay and you’re attracted to him? What if  _ you _ were lying?”

“Do you think I’m a liar, Jun?”

“No!” Myungjun shook his head frantically. “Never! You said you love me, and you would never lie about that. I just…”   
Dongmin stepped forward again. “If you know I would never lie, then why are you so scared?”

Myungjun couldn’t meet Dongmin’s gaze. He wasn’t being accusatory, nor was he being mean. He was curious, simply asking questions, but Myungjun felt stupid under his gentle scrutiny. 

“I don’t know. It’s weird and dumb, but I’m just really scared that something will go wrong and I’ll come home again to find...that. And I know you  _ won’t _ , because you love me, but I still...I’m still scared. It’s irrational. It’s stupid. I wish I didn’t feel this way, and I’m so sorry, and I understand if you want to dump me.”

Dongmin moved. He was very close now, close enough that he reached out and ruffled Myungjun’s hair. 

“I’m scared, too,” he whispered.

Myungjun looked up at him finally. “You are?” he asked, just as quietly, a little confused with the sudden turn of events.

Dongmin nodded his head and smiled. “I’m worried you’ll forget about me again, that work will become the thing most important to you again. I kept thinking that all night. I even talked to Bin about it, after we were done discussing my book, and he said it’s a logical fear, but it’s not. I trust you, so it’s not logical to be afraid of you messing up. It’s...weird, because I’ve been thinking about all of this and asking people online about our relationship.”

“Online people are just stalkers and creeps,” Myungjun said.

Dongmin laughed and shook his head. “Just on forums and stuff. Just basic questions.  _ Can you love someone if your trust was shaken? _ I asked.”

“What did the stalkers and creeps say?”

“They said no.”

Myungjun frowned. “That’s why they’re stalkers and creeps.”

“Exactly. And that’s why I won’t listen to them.” He drew Myungjun in close, hugging him tightly. “We screwed up. We both admitted to our own faults. On their own, though, they’re not life-ending. You got a little caught up in work; I got a little drunk and a misunderstanding ensued. It seemed dire and awful at the time, but it’s nothing we can’t bounce back from.” He kissed the top of Myungjun’s head. “We have our rules now, and we have new trust for each other, and that’s...that’s all we need, right?”

“Right,” Myungjun whispered, voice slightly muffled as he pressed his head closer to Dongmin’s chest. “And love.”

“Oh, of course. How could I forget love?” Dongmin laughed and ran his fingers through Myungjun’s hair. “Point is, sometimes we might falter and need reassurance that things are okay. I think that’s fine. I think we’ll get better as the relationship continues, okay? I think things will...will be okay from now on.”

His words were sweet. Myungjun was lulled into security from what he said and hugged him even tighter. They stood there in silence for a few minutes, immersed in their embrace, when Dongmin mentioned, “I’m cold, though. Can we go inside?”

Myungjun pulled back and smiled at him sheepishly. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “And I’m sorry for running over here and panicking—”

“I like it that you’re here now,” Dongmin stated as he unlocked as door. “We can watch a movie together! And cuddle! It’s the perfect end to the night, isn’t it?”

Myungjun could hardly handle all of the love bursting inside of him. He truly loved Dongmin, more than anything else in the world, and he latched onto the man once more.

“Yup,” he mumbled. 

Dongmin was the perfect end to his night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter left you guys!
> 
> please follow me on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/thevonseal) i'll give spoilers and updates and whatnot! i also post my update schedule onto twitter, so if you're curious when this fic will release chapter ten, check there!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **chapter warnings** : FALLING BACK ONTO OLD HABITS? HAPPY ENDING???

Myungjun was greeted at work with a large folder and a bark of, “Have this done by the time you leave today.”

“Good morning to you, too, Eunji,” he mumbled, setting his takeout coffee down and flipping through the folder. There were messy, handwritten notes stuffed inside and a few crude drawings. Myungjun yawned and examined things as best he could in a few seconds, then asked, “Why does it need to be done so suddenly?”

Eunji was scowling. She crossed her arms over her chest and mumbled, “Because some clients decide last-minute to change everything around.”

Myungjun raised his eyebrows and glanced at the client’s name, listed on the front of the folder. “This isn’t even my client,” he stated. “I’ve already got two I’m working with, and both of those are extensive—”

“I had Jihoon on this client, but he has a family emergency. The client is also paying us _very_ well, and I need it done. I trust you for this most of all.”

“You shouldn’t. My work has gone down over the past year, remember?” Myungjun tried to hand her back the file, but she refused to reach out and take it. He felt frustrated at her pointed stare and said, “Look, I got my life back on track now, and I’m _not_ ruining it again from working late. If I take this task on, I’ll be working late.”

Eunji rolled her eyes. “Is this because…” She glanced around, ensuring the other coworkers weren’t listening, and then leaned in close to Myungjun, “you’re in a relationship?”

Myungjun scowled. “That’s private. You shouldn’t even know, anyway.”

“You were sad and depressed and now you’re happy. Clearly, you have some girl making you happy.”

Myungjun would just let her think that.

“Just tell her you’ll be late going home. This _needs_ to be finished, or else the company loses a ton of money and Jihoon loses all of the commission he was going to make from it. And, of course, you will get half of that commission, too, and overtime pay.”

The old Myungjun would have leaped at such a chance to work with a high-profile client. He would have loved the money that came from it, and he would have loved the chance to show off his skills and talents at work. However, at the forefront of his mind was Dongmin.

He had promised Dongmin he wouldn’t work late nights anymore. Ever since they moved in together, he had been able to keep that promise. He always left his office at 5PM, took the bus home, and was in Dongmin’s arms by 6PM. Working late would compromise that.

Working late might make Dongmin upset.

He couldn’t return to those old habits. He _refused_ to return to those old habits. He had enjoyed leaving work on time and arriving home to eat dinner with his boyfriend. He had never been happier since he swore off working late constantly.

Still, if it was just this once, perhaps it would be fine. He would apologize to Dongmin and make sure he took extra time off later.

“Fine,” he snapped at Eunji, slapping the client’s folder down on his desk. “Only this once, though. I’m not going to be like I was last year.”

“Just get it done,” Eunji told him, and she hurried off to do her own job.

Myungjun tried his best to finish the client’s demands before work ended, but it wasn’t easy. There were too many demands, too many requests, too many rules, and Myungjun found himself struggling as he pieced together images and furniture and colors. It was grueling, and after several phone calls to the client, he realized he was nowhere close to being finished.

He had even skipped his lunch break to ensure completion, and he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “This is ridiculous,” he mumbled, checking the time on his computer.

4:36.

“Eunji!” he called, standing from his desk and moving over to her office. Her door was always kept open, and she glanced up from her computer with expectation. “Eunji, I’m not going to be done with this all by tonight.”

She sighed loudly, heavily, and shook her head. “That isn’t an acceptable answer.”

“You sprung this on me last minute!” Myungjun exclaimed. “This is too much for one person to do! It wasn’t even halfway finished by the time I got to this. Can I work on it tomorrow, instead? Can we ask the client for an extension?”

“Let me see what you’ve completed,” she requested, gesturing for the file.

Myungjun felt like he was wasting more time by allowing her the opportunity to look through things. He felt like he could’ve had a yes or no answer instantly and then gone from there. Instead, she was slow, flipping through the pages that Myungjun had completed and the sketches he had drawn up, commenting once or twice on things she liked.

“Look, just...take my word, it isn’t finished now and it won’t be tonight.”

“It will be if I work on it with you. Normally, I don’t do this low-level stuff since I was promoted, but for once I think—”

“Obviously it isn’t low-level since you begged me to do it because it’s a _rich_ client,” Myungjun fussed at her.

She looked exasperated. “I mean that my job duties differ from yours now that I was promoted. But I’m willing to help. Isn’t that nice of me?”

“Super nice,” Myungjun mumbled. “Look, I’m going to go to the bathroom. You can figure out what parts you want to work on, and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

He left before she could request anything else of him, and once he was tucked away in the office restroom, he pulled out his phone and called Dongmin.

His nerves were shot. This was a conversation he had plenty of times before. This was a conversation that had ended up ruining his relationship.

He didn’t know how Dongmin would take it.

“Hello?” Dongmin answered in record time; already his voice was cautious. “Junnie, what’s up? Are you getting ready to leave?”

Myungjun took a deep breath. He felt sick to his stomach, and he murmured, “I have to stay late, Min.”

Dongmin was quiet for a few seconds, then asked, “Really? You have to?”

“I don’t want to, trust me. One of my coworkers isn’t here, and...and we have to finish up a project for him by tonight. Eunji says she’ll help me. I don’t know how late I’ll be, but I’m determined to get home, and to make sure this never happens again.”

He heard Dongmin sigh, and he quickly tried to interject. “It’s just this once. I swear, Min, I really don’t want to be here. I want to be with _you_. I’m breaking Rule Number Two, and I hate breaking any of our rules. I...I’m sorry. It’s just this once.”

“Alright,” Dongmin muttered. He didn’t sound any happier about it, but at least he had agreed. “Come home from work on time tomorrow, okay?”

“Promise,” Myungjun agreed. “I’m sorry. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too. Now get working — finish quickly so you can come be with me.”

However, the work was slower than Myungjun would have liked. All through the night, he and Eunji were up, deciding on furniture and checking fire safety codes. It was grueling work, tiring work, and by the time Eunji submitted the completed design, it was 3AM Myungjun was exhausted.

He had unread text messages on his phone, too, questions from Dongmin: _when are you coming home?_

“Eunji?” Myungjun asked. “Can I take the day off tomorrow? We worked so late —”

“You have your own projects to work on,” Eunji replied, closing her computer down for the night. “I know you have some tight deadlines, too, so best not. Wait until those are finished.”

Myungjun frowned and hoisted his bag up on his shoulder. He was exhausted; he likely wouldn’t even get home until after 4AM, and the thought of returning in a few hours drove him nuts. “Can I use a sick day, then?”

“Nope. I need a doctor’s note for that.”

Myungjun wanted to punch something. He felt anger well up within him, and in an effort to keep Eunji clear from his fists, he snapped, “I’m heading out, then.”

“See you tomorrow morning!” she responded, bright and cheerful as if nothing was wrong between the two of them.

 

****************

 

The next time Myungjun had to stay late was just a few days later. The client changed their deadline suddenly, and Myungjun was told by a perky Eunji, “If we can finish it tonight, they’ll pay us extra!”

Myungjun rolled his eyes and plopped down in his seat. “I already stayed super late one night this week. I’m not doing it again.”

“You are because you work here,” Eunji stated, raising her eyebrows. “You can’t just refuse to do your work, Myungjun. I’ll have to let you go — your performance has been dreadful, anyway, and if you keep putting off these deadlines, then is there really any reason for you to be here?”

So another day found Myungjun in the bathroom again, keeping his voice quiet and allowing guilt to overrun his body.

“Min,” he murmured, “Eunji wants me to stay late again.”

Dongmin seemed exasperated. Myungjun pursed his lips and leaned against the wall, knowing that he was breaking one of their rules, knowing that he was falling back into familiar habits.

“Just once more,” Dongmin responded. “Okay? I just...I don’t like not seeing you. I’m...I’m kind of scared, Junnie, that you’ll start…” He trailed off, but Myungjun knew what he was going to say.

_I’m scared you’ll neglect me._

If Myungjun continued to allow himself to be pushed around in such a manner and if he allowed work to take precedence over his relationship, then he _would_ be neglectful.

He sighed. “I’ll try my best to come home on time. Just this once more, alright?”

“Alright,” Dongmin agreed.

“I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Myungjun thought, after that late night, it would stop there. He made it clear to Eunji that he wasn’t going to continue to work overtime. Yet she made the demand again, a week later, to finish up another job that someone else had left behind.

Myungjun couldn’t bear the thought of calling Dongmin. He didn’t want to hear the disappointment laced in his voice. He texted, instead, a simple, _maybe another late night_.

Dongmin didn’t respond.

All day, Myungjun was overtaken with guilt. He couldn’t even eat the lunch Dongmin made for him. He took one look at the cute note attached to his lunchbox, a little picture of a sausage smiling, and he put it away.

He wasn’t done with his work by the time it was time to go. He stared at the unfinished pile of papers, and then at the clock. His knees were jittery. His head hurt. He was exhausted. He was upset.

So he stood and packed his things into his briefcase.

Eunji must have noticed him moving. She came out of her office and asked, “Where are you going, Myungjun?”

“Home,” was Myungjun’s simple response. “Because it’s time to go home. Five o’clock.”

“Is the job finished?” she asked, pointing over at all of the work Myungjun had yet to do. “It doesn’t look like it. You can—”

“No,” Myungjun argued, shaking his head. “I’m not going to do this anymore. I’m so sick and tired of working all these late shifts. I did it before, and I lost my boyfriend, and now that I have him back, I’m not making the same mistake again.” He squared his shoulders up and looked Eunji in the eye, defiant and determined. “Find yourself someone who will do that, because I won’t.”

Eunji blinked. She looked a little surprised, and repeated, “Boyfriend?”

Myungjun had shied away from ever mentioning Dongmin’s name. He was embarrassed and scared of being treated wrong. His parents had disowned him, after all; what would other people do? But now he didn’t care. Eunji was keeping him from Dongmin’s side, anyway, and so if she wanted to mock him for his sexuality, then so be it.

“Yes, _boyfriend_ ,” he snapped at her. “Lee Dongmin! He’s a famous author and he’s extremely talented and he’s _perfect_ , and I refuse to neglect him just for some stupid interior designing.”

Eunji stopped him before he could leave, blurting out, “Gay or not, Myungjun, if you walk out right now, you won’t be with the company any longer. I will see to it that you are fired.”

Before, the threat would have definitely scared him. He would have sat his butt down in the seat again and he would have continued to ignore Dongmin’s pleas to come home. Now, however, he was reminded that his boyfriend missed him. His boyfriend needed him to be around.

His boyfriend didn’t need nor deserve neglect.

“I’ll do you one even better.” He took his nametag off and laid it on the table, then smiled proudly at Eunji’s shocked expression. “I quit.”

She called after him as he left, but Myungjun continued to walk. He felt free as he left the building. He took a deep breath, knowing that a job search would likely be difficult, but at least he would no longer be an absent boyfriend. From now on, he could be the man Dongmin deserved.

He also knew it would be embarrassing to tell Dongmin that he lost his job. Dongmin made enough money to care for the both of them, of course, but Myungjun didn’t want to be dependant on someone else. He wanted to work hard and pay his own bills and use his own funds for shopping trips. He also knew his poor performance the past year would make it difficult to use that company as a reference.

Still, all of those worries disappeared the moment he walked through the door and saw Dongmin.

Dongmin was sitting on the couch, eating ramen noodles and watching television. His eyes widened when he saw Myungjun, and he asked, “Weren’t you going to work late tonight? Why...why are you here?”

Myungjun grinned widely.

He made the right decision.

“I quit,” he stated, taking his shoes off at the door and dropping his briefcase.

Dongmin raised his eyebrows. “You...what?”

“I quit!” Myungjun exclaimed. He hurried forward and hopped onto the couch, jostling Dongmin. “I quit! She wanted me to work late, like I told you, but I couldn’t do it. Not again. Not anymore. I was miserable there, and you were miserable here, and I broke Rule Number Two by doing that, so I said I would leave, but she told me I’d be fired, so...I quit.”

It seemed Dongmin was still trying to comprehend Myungjun’s words. Myungjun held back laughter as he saw the gears in Dongmin’s head turn. “You just...you quit your job?”

“Yep!”

“For...me?”

“For _us_ ,” Myungjun said. He grabbed the ramen noodles from Dongmin’s hands and set the little container on the end table. Dongmin faced him, inquisitive, and Myungjun grabbed his hands. “If it had just been one night, I wouldn’t have quit. Hell, if it was just two nights, I would’ve been mad, but I’d still continue to work for them. But three nights? In the span of a week?” He shook his head and scrunched his nose up. “That’s falling back into those stupid, old habits, and I refuse to do that. Not again.”

“But are you really willing to give up your job over that?” Dongmin asked. He brought Myungjun’s hands up to his lips and placed a kiss on each one before murmuring, “I don’t want you to make a mistake.”

Myungjun smiled. He leaned forward, placing his forehead against Dongmin’s, and responded, “The only mistake I made was neglecting you in the first place .You’re too wonderful for me to neglect. You’re too perfect to deserve that sort of treatment. I’ll figure something out. I have good skills and I have connections now — I’ll get another job. That job, though...made me lose sight of what is most important to me.”

Dongmin stared for a second longer before returning Myungjun’s smile. “You can’t break Rule Number Two,” he whispered.

“Nope. Can’t break Rule Number Two.” He kissed Dongmin on the lips and then added, “And I can’t break the last rule, either — if I worked too long and couldn’t come home to kiss you, I’d break two rules, and how awful of a person would that make me?”

“Totally awful. Completely awful,” Dongmin teased.

“Exactly. And I refuse to be that person again.”

He wouldn’t be awful. He wouldn’t be neglectful. For his sake as well as Dongmin’s, he was going to ensure this relationship lasted for years and years and years.

 

****************

 

“I hope your mother knows that my favorite color has changed,” Myungjun said as he grabbed his suitcase from Dongmin’s car.

Dongmin scoffed. “It hasn’t,” he argued. “You’re just trying to be difficult, aren’t you?”

“No! It’s pale yellow this year. I hope my hanbok is pale yellow.”

“She got you a yellow hanbok.”

“She got me a _canary_ yellow hanbok. This year, I’m looking for a paler yellow color. I think I’d look really hot in pale yellow, don’t you?” He closed the trunk to Dongmin’s car and offered him a big grin. “I’d be super sexy in a pale yellow hanbok.”

“Considering the purpose of Seollal is remembering our ancestors, I don’t think _sexy_ is the proper word used to describe you.” Dongmin laughed and shook his head, but added, “Maybe you’d be hot, though. I can go with hot.”

Myungjun cheered to himself, giving a small, “Yes!” much to Dongmin’s amusement.

“But she definitely didn’t get you a pale yellow hanbok. It will still be the same one you had last year.”

“Damn,” Myungjun cursed with a small sigh. He wasn’t down for too long, however, not with Dongmin smiling at him. Myungjun giggled and nudged his elbow into Dongmin’s side. “Same place, different time,” he stated.

“Same place, different story,” Dongmin corrected him.

“Yeah,” Myungjun grinned when he saw the front door open. Dongmin’s family were rushing out to greet them, and Myungjun felt a peace wash over his whole body. He glanced at his boyfriend and they shared a look.

“Here we are again,” Dongmin whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so it is finished
> 
> this definitely wasnt my favorite fic i've written recently, but it was a good filler fic in between others lmao. now originally this 2J was going to be smth else, smth WAY longer, and it starts with the sun failing to rise and mj hiring dongmin as his lawyer in order to sue bin for stealing candles but. i gave up. i might go back to it one day tho considering i have three chapters written and, rereading them, they're actually pretty damn good. we shall see.
> 
> SO WHATS NEXT? right now just two fics, general kim and resilience. i'll be hopefully coming out with another filler fic that i think u guys might want to see - it's myungjin and it's a sequel. ;D but we shall see where life takes me. 
> 
> please follow me on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/thevonseal) i'll give spoilers and updates and whatnot! i also post my update schedule onto twitter, so if you're curious about my other fics (and if u want a plethora of general kim spoilers tossed in your face), please follow there!


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